Domestic Geek

...the weekend after next.

I've known for quite a while that my glasses perscription needed to be updated. I broke one pair last year up in South Dakota and the lenses on my current pair are scratched and hazy. I have to break out the magnifying glass to read instructions and have been increasing the font size on my computer. Yesterday morning at work, my supervisor handed me a xerox printout to read and I couldn't. Granted, the copy was faint, but I just couldn't make it out. I was ridiculed. Lame.

I made an eye appointment after I went back to my office. I still had the paper in my purse from when I talked to human resources about our vision provider three months ago. Fortunately, I found a place close to my house that offers Saturday appointments.

I realized that my current perscription is almost 5 years old. These are the glasses I got between getting laid off the last time and getting my current job.

The lamest part? It's not that I couldn't afford it. I have insurance that will cover most of it. It's that I've been a big, lazy procrastinator.

It is time.

I've really got to stop posting my life events only on Facebook or Twitter. I've used my blog in the past as a tool to chronicle my life and recall important milestones, yet in the last year I've made a grand total of 34 posts (and some of that was fluff). It saddens me that I neglect this poor old blog. I used to spend countless hours tweaking her code and making her pretty. I keep my Facebook page private (for good reason), but it's not like anything that is going on in my life is a big secret. So, I decided this weekend that I'm going to resurrect this poor thing and start giving it the attention it deserves.

I'm making a commitment (notice I didn't say effort) to blog at least weekly. I'm going to start by posting about some of the important stuff that has happened in the last year or so that I really should have blogged about, but didn't. Between going back through my Facebook posts and Marcus' blog, I should be able to determine what should have been written. Then I'll tackle what's going on now and my plans for the future.

This isn't going to be the Blog of Woe (as Marcus coined it in the past). I have some really good feelings that some awesome changes are on the horizon. My creative energy is finally back. I've been reading again (never a good sign when I don't read). I've changed what I eat (more on that in a later post). I've reached a point in my life where I don't want more stuff - I'm trying to simplify my life.

Tonight, though, I've got to go to bed early as I've drawn the Jury Duty Summons short straw yet again. Tomorrow morning I get to make the almost hour-long rush-hour trek up to Broomfield to be at the Adams County Courthouse at the ridiculous hour of 8 am. Lame.

WARNING! FEMALE RELATED CONTENT! QUIT READING NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TMI. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!


Yesterday, I had an appointment to have the Essure procedure done. If you don't want to click through the link, it's a permanent form of female sterilization. I've been wanting those nickle coils in my fallopian tubes ever since my gynecologist told me about them at my last annual exam. She reminded me that, being over 40, the risk of developing blood clots and strokes increase when being on birth control pills.

So, I called to set up the appointment in early December and have been looking forward to yesterday like it was Christmas or something. I needed a driver, so Marcus put in to take Monday off from work. I had the pre-op appointment last Wednesday where the doc went over the procedure details and prescribed the meds I was to take. I was good to go.

I'll be honest, the day before I started getting really nervous. This was surgery, after all. Things can go wrong. The night before, I put the pill up my vagina that was to soften the cervix and would cause cramping. Boy, did it. Worse than any menstrual cramp I've ever had. By 3 am, I couldn't even sleep any more. I got up and turned on the computer. Turns out that pill is also used to induce labor...great. No wonder I was in so much pain. I endured, because I was supposed to take 4 Ibuprofen tablets 2 hours before my procedure. I got Marcus up at 5:30. I thought that would be the hard part of the day, but he was as nervous as I was and was already awake. I took the Ibuprofen and the cramping pain lessened. We had to leave earlier than we'd planned (6:30am) because of the snow that fell and my doctor's office where she does the procedure is down in Parker. I took the pain pills just before we left the house (as instructed) and I could tell I was getting loopy on the way. We only got to the appointment 5 minutes late (not bad with morning traffic and snow), Marcus dropped me off and left his phone # because he was going to wait at the Starbucks a couple of blocks down the street. I was injected with something (local anesthesia, I think) and was really out of it. By the time I was in the room, I thought I was home free.

No such luck. Apparently, if you've never had children, it's really hard to get your cervix to soften and dilate (I wasn't told that). They had to abort the procedure because they couldn't get into my uterus and if they forced it they might puncture my uterus. I tried really hard not to cry, but I couldn't stop the tears. I was (and still am) so frustrated that I went through all that pain and money for absolutely nothing. Poor Marcus had to get me home in that drug-induced state. He's a saint for dealing with me. Apparently, we stopped at Starbucks because I wanted to (don't remember asking) and I told everyone there that my cervix wouldn't cooperate. We stopped by my Dad's house to fix a problem with his Wii (I don't remember being there at all). I do remember being at a traffic light and telling Marcus we were going the wrong way to get to Dad's house and he told me we had already been there. I also remember walking from the car, getting into the house and bawling as I got into bed to sleep everything off. I woke up around 4:30 or so and the cramps were bad again, so I started crying again. It was all just so unfair.

I'm waiting for my insurance company to deny the claim now since the procedure wasn't successful. I'm supposed to get a call from someone today to discuss what we can do next. I'm not really sure I'm ready to talk to anybody there and I'm pretty sure I don't want to go the laproscopic route to tie my tubes. I'm starting to think giving up sex would be the easier way to go. I'm just so fed up this all this crap I go through to make sure I don't get pregnant.

It's so weird when you're coming out of a depression period. You know you were depressed, but you didn't realize how bad until you look back at things that happened during that time. I think I've been in a serious, deep one for about 2 and a half years (it started when they put on on these damned 12-13 hour shifts at work).

It amazes me how long I have been in this funk. The evidence is popping up all over. I wrote on Twitter the other day that I was finding receipts on my desk that were over a year old. I was putting up Christmas lights outside yesterday and the big wreath for the side of the house was still behind the rocking chair in the living room where I left it after taking it down last year. I hadn't cleaned the tub/shower in the back bathroom in about as long. It had horrible soap scum/mildew built up. I was starting to smell it while I was watching television.

I don't think I've actually finished a knitting project in quite a while. It's really odd for me to not want to do anything creative. I think I actually got more joy out of continually ripping knitting back than actually progressing.

I know I haven't been particularly pleasant to be around, either. I've had a serious defeatist attitude. The slightest thing set me off to make me angry, especially when it was things of which I had no control. It's really hard for me to see any good around me when I get like that.

I don't know what has brought me out this time. Maybe a combination of things. I've been eating only real, natural food for a while. I tried eating one of my previous prepacked faves, Stouffers Mac and Cheese, the other day and it actually made me physically ill. I drove to New Mexico at the end of October to visit with my old college pal. It felt so good to see her — I missed her so much. I have hope that I will actually find a new job in the new year. Companies are starting to hire creative professionals again. I decided it was time to stop putting off the things I've always wanted to do and those acts have contributed to my mental health. I also decided to stop trying to fight what I can't change. The situation at work will never change, so I have to find other work. I'm tired of having to work holidays and never spend quality time with Marcus (other than on vacation). I don't want us to grow apart because we never, ever see each other.

So, now the hard part begins...cleaning up the messes I've made for myself. Not just housecleaning messes (man, but there are plenty of those), but others messes, too. Financial messes, physical messes, emotional messes. It'll take time and work, but they can be cleaned up and I will be better at the end because of them.

I'm feeling really positive about where my life is going in 2011 and beyond. Maybe I'll even have a desire to focus on this poor, neglected blog again.

Between work and being sick, my NaBloPoMo effort for November 2010 is over. Oh, well, maybe next year.

I got an unexpected 5 day break from work. My friend hosted a Christmas knitting party at her house on Saturday, so I switched with a guy at work (I worked Wednesday, he covered my Saturday) so I could attend. We're also abnormally slow at work for November, so late Saturday night I got the call that I didn't have to work on Sunday. Add in my normal days off of Monday-Wednesday and that's 5 days off. I really hope this extended break helps me kick the crud in my lungs. There are so many different germs floating around at work that I'm positive that I've had more than one sickness over the last month. I did sleep a good portion of yesterday. I was up for a few hours, then I was freezing, so I slipped into bed to warm up and woke up several hours later. I thought for sure I wouldn't be able to sleep at a decent hour after that, but I went to sleep fairly early. I'm feeling almost normal today. Still hacking stuff up from the lungs, but much better than I've been. So, we'll see...

The knitting party was a blast. The hostess served potato leek soup, cornbread and sangria. I brought a cheesecake (made with all organic ingredients except the topping) and another guest brought key lime pie (I had never had any). We all worked on Christmas gifts we're knitting, ate and drank. So much fun and just what I needed since I haven't been able to attend any knitting groups lately. Wish I could host one, but I just don't have the seating to have that many people over.

I managed to stab my left hand last night while making guacamole. I was trying to get the pit out and the knife slipped. No more using the knife to get the pit out - I'll have to stick to the spoon. Had to wrap my hand in plastic so I could take a shower. I'm such a klutz.