Domestic Geek

I'm going to get a little Grinchy here.

Marcus called and asked me to stop by the store on my way home from work tonight to get him some Honest Teas as he had no beverage with which to partake during his Teamhousewares Golf tournament. As I got out of my car and headed towards the entrance, this is what I saw:


WTF, man? Throughout the whole store, it was already a Christmas wonderland. You retailers want to know why you're having a harder time each year with holiday sales? You're making people weary of it. Instead of the wonder of the season you could experience because it should be short-lived, you're hammered with Christmas almost half the year now. By the time December 25th finally rolls around, people are so sick of Christmas that it becomes an ordeal to get through. I can almost understand Hobby Lobby putting stuff out for people who do craft fairs, but all the home decorating stuff can stay in the warehouse until Thanksgiving.

I even saw something in my Facebook feed from 9News that said Santa was already visiting Cherry Creek mall. Too freaking soon, people! Santa makes his entrance on Thanksgiving morning at the Macy's parade.

Let's get back to making the season special by only having it in your face for a single month of the year.

Marcus has said a couple of things to me recently in conversations we have had (I'm not going to say what exactly), that really has me taking a hard look at why I live the way I do. My whole life I have tried to be the good girl and do what I'm supposed to do. Meanwhile, people all around me get away with pulling all kinds of crap with no real repercussions. I also believed for so long that what I really wanted didn't matter, so why bother? I've been living so long trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be, that I never really figured out what I want. There was a conversation on the radio the other day about what would you do with your life if money was not a concern. Sadly, I really don't know what I want. I have a lot of interests, but I don't have a true passion for anything. I think one of the reasons I get so angry all the time is that I'm frustrated with my life and I don't know what to do about it. It may also be part of why I procrastinate so much, as well. I put everything off because nothing feels genuine.

I used to watch Steve Jobs do his Apple keynotes and be so envious of the excitement he had for what he did. I've been trying to meditate to get through the mental clutter to see if I can find that thing that is my reason for being. I'm just so tired of going through the motions of living with nothing to show for it.

A couple of my co-workers recently have had health scares (one had to have a hysterectomy, another waiting for test results to see if she has cancer), which has also got me wanting to get more out of the time I have left. I'm less than 5 years away from the age Mom was when she passed. While it is true that I eat better and don't smoke like she did, that nagging fear that I'll die early like she did is always in the back of my mind. I was looking at my 101 in 1001 page yesterday to see all the things I want to do, yet I never make time for. I also was blown away looking at some of my past blog posts and seeing that I have the same issues year after year after year. I've got to stop making excuses and rationales for why my life isn't the way I want and start finding ways to make things happen. This stagnation thing really sucks.

Anyway, here's one of my favorite Job's quotes -

When Marcus and I go to the homestead in Keystone, we refer to it as "going home." I put my Facebook status something like, "It is so good to be home." It amazes me how many people want to tramp on that.

Your home is where you can be you, where you feel comfortable, where you can just be. To us, that's the house in South Dakota. We've lived in that structure for over 12 years. Many things have happened within those walls, both good and bad. It's where we feel we belong. The old saying "Home is where your heart is" rings true, our hearts are up there.

The place we're staying now (the Suckpartment, as Marcus has dubbed it), is just that - the place we're staying now. We can't relax here with the noise and the neighbors. We don't feel at ease here. We have just the bare minimum of our things here. Simple things like preparing a meal or doing laundry totally suck. The Denver area itself is too freaking crowded. More and more people flood this stupid area every day. The traffic is unbearable - I used to love to drive around, now it is a hated chore. I can't even walk the dog around here without him finding food people have thrown on the ground or being chased by untrained children (my mother taught me never to approach a strange dog without permission from the owner).

I can't wait for the day that Marcus and I pack up that final moving truck and leave Denver behind. I really hope that day is soon.

OK, here I go with my rant about how I hate the whole Daylight Savings concept.

I often wondered if there have ever been any studies done on how mucking around with time affects those with depression, especially with the fall change. While I didn't delve deep enough to find any actual studies, there are plenty of articles written about it. I found this article that suggests sitting in front of a light box. Maybe I should do that, because today was really bad for me.

It's bad enough that I was dealing with a pinched neck nerve or something that hadn't let me sleep on top of the usual stupidity that happens at work, but I was so freaking depressed that I couldn't concentrate on my work. I even contemplated quitting and walking out.

I wish we would just stop this DST nonsense. An hour isn't enough to be of benefit in this technological age, but it sure is enough to screw things up.

Just a few thoughts because I got back from South Dakota and I'm exhausted:

• Daylight Savings Time sucks balls


• Driving through Wyoming sucks balls


• Pinched nerves in your neck, especially when you're on a road trip, sucks balls


• Denver Metro sucks balls


• Having to go back to work after any sort of vacation sucks balls


• Broken computers sucks balls

I think you can see where I'm going. G'night.