Domestic Geek

Man, I had just typed up this long, insightful post and went to another site in another tab to get a link I wanted to post that I found this morning and the damned site locked up my browser. Buh bye loooong, insightful post. I so don't feel like writing all of that again right now. Maybe when I get home. *hrmph*

I just about jacked my keyboard at work when I knocked over my water bottle. Fortunately, the water spilled in front of it and I only got a few drops on the spacebar. Whew. Not that I'm doing any work today anyway. I have to beat the art director about the head to give me work to do and I'm tired of it. I've gotten such a bad attitude here. That's what my post was about. Maybe it's a good thing that the browser crashed. Maybe all I really needed to do was get my anger and frustration out and I did and there is no record of it. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I've been doing The Artist's Way for the last week. I started doing it a while back and never made of habit of it. I think I gave up after a week. This time I'm determined to see the process through. I've got a major creative block and some self-confidence issues. I do some serious mental self-sabotaging and I need to get to the root causes and fix it. One of the main excercises in the program is a thing called morning pages. Every morning you write three whole stream-of-consciousness pages of all the crap floating around in your head, no matter what it is. That's probably why I haven't had much to say here. Once it's on paper, why bother typing it again?

I can't remember how I got there, but I was reading this site called The Lazy Way to Success and I read this quote: Man, how true that is. I don't care if I ever become rich, but I'm tired of being an employee. I hate it. I'm tired of my income being dictated by the work ethics of other people.

Just found this cute poem while font-searching:

So, I can't take a shower. For the third time in as many days, we have no water. We've not been warned as to when these water outages will occur, we have no idea who is turning the water off and we have no idea when it will be back on. I also need to run some laundry and the dish washer. I am not a happy camper right now.

Man, I really hate that cheery/happy mood icon that goes with the set I use. Someday, when I have time, I'll have to make a different set of my own mood icons. Yeah. When I have time...

Well, just as I thought it would, not being able to keep even water in my stomach for several days led to my body developing a bladder infection. It cost $97 Friday to pee in a cup and get them to give me drugs for a condition I already knew I had. Jerks. I wish you could get UTI medication over-the-counter like you can yeast stuff. I know it will never happen since they're antibiotics, but a girl can dream. Good news is I've kept food down with no nausea for the last two days. Yippee!!!! Eating is good.

I told Marcus a few weeks back that I was finally ready to start letting go of some of the crap that I hoard. I'm a total packrat and it's gotten way out of control. He absolutely did not believe me. I can't say that I blame him, though. I talk a good game, but rarely do I follow through on my plans. Well, not this time. My life is in total chaos and I decided I needed to get rid of clutter in my life. So, I started with the physical clutter. Things have been going in the dumpster left and right. Ancient class notes, out-dated calendars, old sheet music, craft supplies I'll never use, worn out clothes, VHS tapes, cassettes, floppy disks, gifts from people I'll never see again and never cared for in the first place, rickety shelving, tacky decorations--if I haven't used it since we've moved back to Denver, it's probably getting tossed. When it comes time to move again, I don't want to be moving any of this crap again. Better to get it out of my life and out of my way now so I can move on to cleaning up other areas of my life.

While I was going through stuff in the craft room, I came across my "Maggie the Messmaker" cross-stitch kit yet again. I remember blogging about how I was so upset that I had lost the instructions. A quick search turns up that I did that way back on MARCH 19, 2003! Dimensions had sent me new instructions by March 27th. Here it is 2½ years later and I still haven't started on the darned thing! I started pondering this and can't even remember the last time I cross-stitched. I used to do that all the time. I always had a kit in the car to keep me busy should something come up. I can't even remember the last time I did anything crafty at all. I think that's one of my biggest problems right now. I don't allow myself time to do the things I enjoy that keep me sane. Christine at Big Pink Cookie was mentioning The Martha! Show where everyone there had a knitted or crocheted poncho. I'm considering making the crocheted one. I used to have a poncho when I was a kid in the '70s and I LOVED IT! Marcus' sister asked me to make a quilt for her youngest daughter. That's should be fun, too.

OK, I've wasted enough time sitting here. I need a shower.

Well, I kept some food down today. WooHoo. I didn't go to the printer job again today. Sitting under the air conditioning really screwed me yesterday. My body hurt so bad this morning from the shivering. Ick. Man, Friday's paycheck is going to be pathetic. I slept all day, though, so that really helped. Not being able to keep any fluids in my system has me trying to develop a bladder infection. I've been drinking as much fluids as I could today to try and flush the old system out. I hope I'm successful. The last thing I want is to waste more money trying to fight a round of bladder/yeast infections.

I have yet another reason to have no respect for my boss at the pizza place. One of the employees that he has a thing for left some personal correspondence in the restroom after her shift yesterday. I only know it is hers because I accidentally knocked them down when I grabbed my work clothes and I recognized her handwriting. When he got to work, I saw him carrying her stuff out of the bathroom into the office, where he proceeded to read all of her stuff. Loser. He is so freaking insecure and nosy. I swear he must be a girl the way he acts. I was contemplating telling her that he took her stuff, but I don't want to get involved. That is definitely the most dysfuctional place I have ever worked (although the screenprinter is becoming a top runner). Is there such a thing as a healthy, functioning workplace? I'm beginning to wonder.

I lost 8 pounds in the two days I didn't eat. I'm sure most of that is fluids and will be replaced shortly, but it was good to see the scale lower than it has been. After seeing a picture of myself today that was taken at Laura's wedding a couple of weeks ago, I really realized that I need to do something about my weight. I've been so good at convincing myself that even though the scale says I weigh close to 300 pounds, I'm not really that fat. Even though I can't find clothes that fit at Sears or Penney's, I'm not really that fat. Well, yes, I really am that fat. I didn't recognize myself in that picture. I have the opposite problem that most people do: my self-image is way better than reality. I still have a picture of myself as I was in college. I was still fat, but I was under 200 pounds. I'm glad that Marcus got me a bike for my birthday rather than something computer related. It's going to get some good use. I didn't like what I saw today. That wasn't me.

Well, I'd better try to get some more sleep. I need to get back on my regular schedule, try to get some hours at the printer tomorrow and continue the job search.