Domestic Geek

DOG HAIKU

I love my human;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel.

I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds - I celebrate
By kissing your face

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin -
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe chasing cats

The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under the fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

This had me cracking up. So did this.

I'm watching a new show on CBS called "Baby Bob." This could be funny. They just showed a commercial announcing Survivor is going to be Wednesday this week. I wish I had seen a commercial like that last week since obviously I missed it (not knowing it was on Wednesday). Stupid basketball.

The NyQuil wore off just in time for the front to move in and cause one of those pressure headaches. Man, I just can't win today. I'm going to try and get to bed early, get to work early and then maybe, MAYBE, I can get something accomplished tomorrow.

Wrestling just came on. I can't believe Hulk Hogan is still around.

I came across this while blog jumping today. Deb has started a new meme: "Eight questions derived from eight songs in the Eighties. Posted at Eight. Ish. Hence, the Eight From The Eighties." What a cool idea. The eighties was my decade. I'll try to remember to do this weekly.

EIGHT FROM THE EIGHTIES

1) Can you drive 55?
Not unless there is a police officer present or I've got the cruise control set. My car absolutely hates being at 55. It likes to cruise at 50, 70 or 80. It seems to like the even numbers. I usually try to stay relatively close to the posted speed limit. I feel like I'm pushing my luck if I start going 10 mph more than the limit.

2) Do you blister in the sun?
Only if I'm out in it a long time without sunscreen.

3) Are you pretty in pink?
Absolutely not. I look better in bright, bold colors.

4) Who's your obsession?
I honestly can't think of anybody I obsess about now. The closest thing I have to an obsession is that I really like Brendan Fraser. Once upon a time it used to be Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi, Fabio, Paul Stanley of Kiss, and the WWF's Ultimate Warrior.

5) Were you born in a small town?
I wish -- I was born in Denver, Colorado.

6) Do you love rock-n-roll?
Absolutely. Hard rock and heavy metal are my favorites. Although, I love most music except twangy country crap and mexican polkas. *shudder*

7) Dear God, I hope you get this letter and, I pray...
I don't believe in a god, so there would really be no point, would there?

8) You just got paid. It's Friday night. What are you going to do?
Go home, surf the net and go to bed since I have to work on Saturday. My party days were in the eighties.

I was going to work on the old blog here last night, but Marcus and I got into a fight and that took care of any motivation I had to do anything yesterday. I was admonished by Laura yesterday about my lack of comments. I was going to look into remedying that right away. Maybe later as I'm not focusing well right now.

Give me the "Stupid Move of the Day" award. I was having a touch of heartburn from some popcorn I ate late last night. I went to take some antacid and ended up swigging NyQuil instead. Dumb. That'll teach me not to leave the NyQuil and the antacid out on the counter. Now I'm all loopy and groggy. I can't sleep, though. Argh. I really needed to run some errands that require driving. Damn, damn, damn.

Marcus' and my friend Brad informed us last night that Kenny is REALLY DEAD and is being replaced by Butters on South Park. So it seems for now.. We'll see.....