Domestic Geek

I'm trying not to compain on here anymore, but I have to get this off my chest. It made me so angry yesterday, I thought I was going to explode.

I always get excited when I see local numbers on my cell phone...hoping it is someone calling me for a job interview. Yesterday, I got a call from a 303 area code while I was in talking to the people at Platt. I quickly call my voicemail only to find its the graphics dept. manager from the job I was just let go from. He wants me to change some stuff on the Filemaker database. Um, I don't work there anymore. I can't access your databse from home. Uh...NO! He went on forever...are you doing ok? Have you found a job yet? etc, etc, etc. If you really cared, you would've waited until I found something and gave my two weeks' notice, then found my replacement. Instead, I was let go. Bite me. I emailed him back (if I would've called him, I might've said something I would've later regretted) and told him that if they want further database modifications, they need to hire somebody because I'm not interested. That cleared one thing up, though. They invited me to the company picnic that's at Chatfield tomorrow. I've been teetering as to whether I should go or not. I mean, I'm still really hurt and angry at being more or less fired. I did want to go ride on one of the franchise owner's boat, though, and partake of the BBQ lunch. After yesterday's message, I emailed the office manager and told her I wouldn't be attending Wednesday's event. Why should I spend money on gas and park fees to hang with people that screwed me over or listen to them strategizing how to build a business of which I am no longer a part? I'm tired of acting professional and pretending that the way I left that company was OK. It wasn't.

I'm cutting all ties I had to that place and moving on.

My stress is causing insomnia again. My dog won't let me try to sleep tonight. I might as well post.

I wish I had remembered what day it was earlier. The second Thursday of every month is psychic night on 850 KOA Rick Barber's show. That was my favorite night back when I made dough. I caught the last 15 minutes of it.

Looking at my Branica stats, I remembered something I wanted to post about: I don't like the new Tattered Cover location.

Since it was rainy and dreary last Saturday and I had to take Marcus' deposit to the bank anyway, I decided to head down there to check it out. It's on Colfax a couple of blocks east of University. My first impression was not good: there was a bunch of construction going on in that area and it took forever just to get into the parking lost. Then, the parking garage is tiny with not enough room for two cars to pass each other in the turns. I almost gave up at that point. I decided to press on. I made the mistake of entering through the "cafe" door. An employee was set up at a table right inside the door giving out samples of something. The group around her was blocking the entrance and impeding my retreat from the rain. When I finally made my way in, my heart sank. It seemed old and dingy already. One of the great things about the old location was the multiple floors to disperse the crowds. Not so here. The shelves were tightly packed into only two floors. There were no places to escape people like at the old one. Seating is limited. Every time I tried to browse a section, I was in somebody's way. After a little over a half hour, my claustrophobia got the best of me and I had to get out of there. I was not impressed. I may try to give it another chance next week since I'll be unemployed. Maybe it will be better during the week when the weather is better. We'll see.

As for my breakdown: I got news yesterday that the trade show place I wanted to work for went with someone else. The headwear place reposted their listing on Craigslist, yet didn't call me. I resubmitted my resume, but am losing hope about that. I have two days of work left, no job prospect and I'm starting to panic. Out of curiosity, I looked at my biorhythm widget and all of my waves are at a low point. My ruling planet, Mercury, is in retrograde. Yay. I sank into horrible despair yesterday. The tiniest thing sent me bawling. I keep trying to remain positive, but I'm slipping. I racked up $50,000 in student loan debt, got out of school over a year ago and I'm worse off than I've been at almost any time in my adult life except for the period I had living in Colorado Springs. People keep telling me how talented I am, so how come I can't get a job?

Our office manager is fixing a big lunch for us today as kind of a going away thing for me. That's going to be hard to deal with. It'd be OK if I was leaving with another job lined up. A couple of days ago, the owner said he wanted to talk to me before my last day (about what?--there's really nothing to talk about), but he's more interested in getting ready for his Lake Powell trip next week. One of the franchise owners is taking me out to dinner this evening as a "thank you" for the work I did. She knows a lot of people, I'd like to keep her as a contact. Maybe that could lead to something. Who knows?

Well, I guess I'll go into work a little early today. I've got a little bit of work to do on the database, yet. I need to clean my machine off and back up my data. I'll be glad to be gone from there, I just wish I had somewhere new to go.

I need you all to do me a favaor. Send positive good job vibes my way. Mentally tell the Powers-That-Be at a local Headwear [link removed] company that they need to hire me in their graphics department. I saw the post Friday on Craigslist and responded. This job would be perfect if they're offering enough pay. I need to get an interview and find out. It's less than 10 minutes from my house, it's a few blocks away from the studio where I want to start practising yoga, it's production art, it's embroidery. I could quit wasting all of my earnings on gas, I'd put little wear and tear on my car, I wouldn't have to drive on any freeways to get there, I could have more time for freelancing, I could meet my Dad occasionally for lunch (it's practically in his backyard). Like I said, it sounds perfect! Help me and I'll be forever grateful!

ONE...MORE...WEEK.

I'm scared to death about what my future holds, but I know that getting away from here will be a good thing. I will be very surprised if the company I work for still exists in its current form in two years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rooting for it to fail. I just see some major probems and the direct mail market is oversaturated with similar publications. I guess we'll see.

My boss is pushing me to go on unemployment. What's up with that? Is that how he needs to quelch his guilty conscience over letting me go? He also asked me today if my last day was the 14th. Um, you're the one letting me go and you can't even remember when you said my last day would be? WTF? Yeah, l just lost the last little ounce of respect I had for him.

Why is it that since I want to work without interruption and finish this damned database so that I can leave this place with a free conscience, everybody and their cousins are doing their best to keep me from it? GRRRRRRRR!