Domestic Geek

Man, I had 2 major panic attacks today.

First, I stopped at Whole Foods on the way to work and my debit card was declined. I had checked the balance this morning to see what purchases I had made with the PayPal card had cleared and there was money in my account. I got to work and logged into the bank website to see the card number was different and not active. Um, Ok...there was no message in my inbox, just notifications about bank statements ready to be downloaded. I started to call the bank, but figured I had better check through the big pile of crap on my desk first. Sure enough, there was a new card mixed in with political crap. Whew.

The 2nd one happened after I called tech support to find a solution to an issue I was having with our mail sorting software. The guy told me to make sure I copied this one file so that if things went wrong, I could put it back. The main problem is that we run our software on a remote server, not individual installations like they want you to do. Me trying to work with this file while everybody else was working corrupted it and I couldn't get it back in. I had a major panic attack and had visions of being fired, not to mention crippling the mailing department. Good thing Marcus has a cooler head than I and managed to get it fixed. Whew.

The Polar Vortex sank into the United States today and Marcus is having a panic attack of his own. The guy that Marcus hired to install the heater for our water tank/pump hasn't showed up to install it and he's panicking about all of our stuff freezing up like last year. He claims he'll be there tomorrow - I hope it is not too late.

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With the economic recession this country is facing and the layoffs, fewer hours and no usual end-of-year crunch (and the resulting overtime hours) at work, I've been really contemplating how I would cope if I suddenly lost everything. We've managed to squeak by if one or the other of us lost a job, but as we both work at the same company now, if it goes under, we're royally screwed. It's one of the reasons I've been wanting to find employment elsewhere. The problem? My whole industry is in the same boat and nobody is hiring anyone new.

I watched Kit Kittredge: An American Girl last night (totally didn't know it was about a girl in the Great Depression) and then this morning came across the above quiz on Bug's blog, An Indian Summer. The quiz asked things like "Do you own a weapon?" or "Do you grow your own food?" or "Can you get around to shops and work by bike, public transportation, or walking?" Sadly, my answer to a lot of really important questions was no. I can't grow food where I live now. First, I wouldn't trust anything that came out of this measly dirt plot to be edible and the raccoons would destroy what little harvest I could manage. Where would we go if the park owners suddenly closed up shop and ordered us all to leave?

I sit here looking at all the unnecessary crap I own and feel guilty for not saving money. Marcus and I have already cut out a lot of needless bills such as only having basic dish service and no home phone. I was doing good there for a while of weeding out stuff I don't use or need anymore, only to replace it with more. Marcus and I want to move eventually, but I don't want to move all of this junk.

How would I cope if I no longer had Internet access or electricity to operate my computer. I have all of my recipes stored on here with very few of them printed out. I pacify my emotional turmoil with shopping for needless crap or getting Starbucks. There at the peak of job dissatisfaction, I was getting 5 chai lattes a week.

I know I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm getting at is I need to set new priorities and get my life into a manageable state. We really are facing a time of great turmoil and transition. I am worried about the future of the America we all knew and loved and feel that this globalization movement will take away our freedom we enjoyed as Americans. This sudden "bailing out" of everybody and his cousin is going to collapse our dollar. I fear we're in for some rough, unpleasant times.

I decided to not totally procrastinate and am in the process of doing this year's taxes (I'm updating TurboTax right now). This last year has been so screwed up for me financially that I didn't even want to consider tackling it early. I also misplaced the document I got from the State for my unemployment which I just found, so I guess we'll see here in a couple of hours if I owe again this year. I'm expecting that to be the case.

EDIT: Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Since I was overcharged taxes on my final paycheck at the job I was let go from, it covered any taxes I owed as a result of doing paid blogging. I would've gotten a small refund if not for the fact that I still owe the IRS money from last year. Oh, well. That's OK, at least I don't owe.

Managing my money has never been one of my good traits. In fact, I'm horrible at it. As I'm getting older, I really need to find ways to improve my financial health and get something put away for my old age. I found a new site that may be able to help. MoneyManager.com is a growing site that offers articles on reducing expenses, growing money and reducing debt. I am doing one thing right, though. In the "Cars: Managing a Depreciating Expense" article, I am making the most out of my car purchase. I bought used and I plan on keeping it long after its paid off. Since it is a Subaru that will not see any pizza driving action, I should get MANY years out of it.

I'm so mad right now I could burst!

I have nobody to blame for my situation but myself, but it's things like what happened today that really makes me want to beat somebody's brains out.

I called the credit union that has my car loan last week to try to work something out with skipping a couple of payments until my unemployment kicks in. The lady on the phone said no problem, you just need to apply for an extension and payments would resume in September. She sends me the form I need to fill out. I'm in the middle of filling out said form when I get a call from her supervisor. Apparently, they've tightened their policy regarding such things. Since I'm currently late, I probably can't get one. BUT, I can go ahead and send the paperwork in even though it would more than likely be a huge waste of my time. Nice. I could probably get one if I got my payments up to date, but if I had the money to get my payment up to date, I wouldn't need the fucking extension. Grrrrr!

Man, I've really got myself into a big pile of it this time.