Domestic Geek

If you didn't already know, Colleen is partipating in a 60 mile 3-Day walk for The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation this weekend in Philadelphia. She is very close to her goal of $2200 in pledges, so if you can help out, please visit her 3DayMom site for information and the link to donate.

Good luck this weekend, Colleen!

I've often wondered if there is something physically wrong with me. I've suspected for years that I may suffer from depression. I've also suspected a bipolar disorder. When my mother and I were watching an episode of Oprah together and I mentioned my suspicions, she said, "Oh, you're not depressed. You're just a little down and you'll snap out of it." Since we will have lost my mother 10 years ago this January and that conversation happened well before that, I've had this problem for a very long time. I've never sought help because I never had insurance and don't have money to pay for doctors myself. I didn't want to be drugged up and suffer other problems. I cry alot and shut myself away. I honestly can't remember a time when I was happy and at peace. Even though I try to put on a happy face once in awhile, that feeling of wrongness is always there. It's why I overspend and overeat and push away people trying to be my friends. It's why I'm so self-destructive. It's why I'm so angry and frustrated. It's why I always used to move alot. I was trying to escape something. The sad thing is, what I'm trying to escape is inside of me.

Today, my friend Chrissy pointed out this blog entry about Depression in the IT Professions. It's got me to thinking again. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with the jobs I've tried to get, it's all me. I'll never be happy in any job because that deep seeded feeling that everything is wrong is always there. The author of that post had many resources about depression. Maybe it's time to figure out what's wrong and fix it.

Ah, why do dogs sleep in doorways or walkways and then stand up when you try to step over them? I can kick Skippy in the butt, push him...nothing. The minute I try to step over, he's up like a flash. He just made me kick the leg of the couch and boy, oh boy, did it HURT! I hope I didn't break my pinky toe.

Yesterday I went with Marcus to scout out a trailhead to the bike path that runs along C-470 so that he can start training for his ride to Kansas. The bike trails here in Colorado suck, btw. You'd think a state with such an outdoor lifestyle would make it easier for people to bike. HA!

He found a possible place to start down in Parker at the Challenger Regional Park & Recreation Center. Very nice facility. Anyway, I didn't have socks on because I had thrown them all in the wash and thought we were just going down there to find where it was. We started walking around a bit to try and find the bike path itself. We found it and started following it. Next we know, we've gone a mile. My shoes started rubbing blisters on the arches of both of my feet. Argh! I couldn't get comfortable trying to sleep last night because apparently, I rest one leg in the arch of my other foot when I sleep.

Does this end my stupidity? NO! I decide that if I wrap them up good, I can go ahead and try to bike part of it today. Well, the bandages slipped and I reaggravated both blisters. I rode about two miles before I figured I'd better turn back. Oh, well. I got some good exercise in this weekend though.

I really need a padded bike seat.

I read a Sneaky Sugars article on Discovery Health earlier this week that talked about the incredible amounts of sugar in our diets. It said that 7 grams of sugar (on the nutrition label) is approximately 1 Tablespoon! Not small t teaspoon, but large T Tablespoon. I was appalled. Out of curiosity, I looked at the label of the Dannon Frusion I've been buying for breakfast lately (thinking it was healthy). One little 10 oz. bottle of mixed berry flavor had 48 grams of sugar—almost 7 tablespoons! Don't even get me started that part of that sugar was High Fructose Corn Syrup. No wonder I don't lose weight. Then people have the audacity to wonder why our society is so overweight. I'm making a concerted effort to rid my diet of as much processed sugars as possible. I'll still have an occasional Starbucks or a coke for a treat, but no more white sugar in my tea, no more processed beverages daily, no more!

Today is the last day that The Tattered Cover Bookstore will be open in Cherry Creek. I'm heading over there to have one last wander around. It's kind of sad since it's been there so long, but at the same time, maybe i'll go more often now that it will be somewhere that has close free parking. Now I have to park in the Cherry Creek mall's parking garage or park in one of the neighborhoods several blocks away and walk over. I hope it's not overly busy, but I'm afraid it will be. I'll kick myself if I don't at least give it a try, though.