Domestic Geek

Note to Self: Stop drinking carbonated beverages, especially now that you don't drink them all the time. I had a Coke with dinner because the place we went to dinner doesn't serve brewed tea (only that nasty fountain crap). I have got the worst case of heartburn right now as a result. Ugh. This sucks because I had intended on going to bed early to get a good night's rest (still trying to fight off sickness). Does a woman's immune system drop right before her period? It always seems that when I do get sick, it's right around this time of month. *sigh*

If you didn't already know, Colleen is partipating in a 60 mile 3-Day walk for The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation this weekend in Philadelphia. She is very close to her goal of $2200 in pledges, so if you can help out, please visit her 3DayMom site for information and the link to donate.

Good luck this weekend, Colleen!

I've often wondered if there is something physically wrong with me. I've suspected for years that I may suffer from depression. I've also suspected a bipolar disorder. When my mother and I were watching an episode of Oprah together and I mentioned my suspicions, she said, "Oh, you're not depressed. You're just a little down and you'll snap out of it." Since we will have lost my mother 10 years ago this January and that conversation happened well before that, I've had this problem for a very long time. I've never sought help because I never had insurance and don't have money to pay for doctors myself. I didn't want to be drugged up and suffer other problems. I cry alot and shut myself away. I honestly can't remember a time when I was happy and at peace. Even though I try to put on a happy face once in awhile, that feeling of wrongness is always there. It's why I overspend and overeat and push away people trying to be my friends. It's why I'm so self-destructive. It's why I'm so angry and frustrated. It's why I always used to move alot. I was trying to escape something. The sad thing is, what I'm trying to escape is inside of me.

Today, my friend Chrissy pointed out this blog entry about Depression in the IT Professions. It's got me to thinking again. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with the jobs I've tried to get, it's all me. I'll never be happy in any job because that deep seeded feeling that everything is wrong is always there. The author of that post had many resources about depression. Maybe it's time to figure out what's wrong and fix it.

Ah, why do dogs sleep in doorways or walkways and then stand up when you try to step over them? I can kick Skippy in the butt, push him...nothing. The minute I try to step over, he's up like a flash. He just made me kick the leg of the couch and boy, oh boy, did it HURT! I hope I didn't break my pinky toe.

Yesterday I went with Marcus to scout out a trailhead to the bike path that runs along C-470 so that he can start training for his ride to Kansas. The bike trails here in Colorado suck, btw. You'd think a state with such an outdoor lifestyle would make it easier for people to bike. HA!

He found a possible place to start down in Parker at the Challenger Regional Park & Recreation Center. Very nice facility. Anyway, I didn't have socks on because I had thrown them all in the wash and thought we were just going down there to find where it was. We started walking around a bit to try and find the bike path itself. We found it and started following it. Next we know, we've gone a mile. My shoes started rubbing blisters on the arches of both of my feet. Argh! I couldn't get comfortable trying to sleep last night because apparently, I rest one leg in the arch of my other foot when I sleep.

Does this end my stupidity? NO! I decide that if I wrap them up good, I can go ahead and try to bike part of it today. Well, the bandages slipped and I reaggravated both blisters. I rode about two miles before I figured I'd better turn back. Oh, well. I got some good exercise in this weekend though.

I really need a padded bike seat.