Domestic Geek

Damn, how did it get to be 11:38 already? Didn't Marcus just leave for work like a half hour ago?

I'm going to miss Starting Over when the fall tv season starts. I can't believe all the time in my life I've wasted with soap operas. I caught Days of Our Lives one day last week and I said to myself, "Geez, what a waste of broadcast air...I can't believe I used to care about these story lines." Soap operas are stupid.

Anyway, while I couldn't sleep last night, I had a small realization: I think one of the reasons I never get anything accomplished is I resent the unpleasant things I have to do (or should be doing). I have lots of hobbies that I want to do, yet I know I should be doing other responsible things. When I start to do those other things, I get resentful because I'd rather be doing my hobbies and then stop doing those as well. It's a vicious cycle that results in me doing absolutley nothing. It's immature. It needs to stop and I need to allow myself time for play while facing stuff I don't want to do. I need to find a balance in my life. One of the ways I used to avoid this whole scenario was to go shopping. I'd buy stuff I didn't want or need just to avoid facing the inner struggle. Lately, with no money to spend, it's been television and Harry Potter fan fics that have been fulfilling that role.

So, my plan is to do an hour of stuff I have to then an hour of stuff I want to do. I'll let you know how it works out.

Man, I hate when I have a movie I want to see and say to myself, "I need to put that in my Netflix queue," but when I have the Netflix site open in front of me, I can't remember what the heck the movie was. Grrrr.

Well, my stupid glasses broke yesterday. I shouldn't be surprised, the things are over five years old. The frames are so thin, I can't even glue them together temporarily. *sigh* Oh, well.

I've been unemployed a whole month. I think the lack of work is making me edgy. All I could do was pace today. I couldn't concentrate worth crap. I have tons of stuff I could be doing, but I just can't seem to focus. Not cool.

I need to get back to sorting stuff and throwing stuff out. Our stupid landlord raised the lot rent again. Once I do find work and get my bills back on track, priority number one is going to be getting out of here. Our house sits right next to a main power line. I know that the energy affects me strangely. That's probably also a reason I'm so restless.

I can't believe how quickly my health deteriorated this last month. It's amazing how much excercise I got going back and forth to the printer. I gained over 10 pounds in the last month, despite the fact that I've been eating less. My metabolism must be in conservation mode. I went biking with Marcus yesterday and I sucked so bad. I'm basically carrying around two people everywhere I go. I'm going to take better care of myself. It took a week for the swelling in my legs to go down after the blogathon. I'm not young anymore, but I'm not that old, either.

I'm kicking myself for my stubborness and not applying for unemployment sooner. I'd be getting checks already if I had overcome my pride sooner...or faced reality sooner. I kept telling myself that I didn't need to apply, I'd have a job before the checks would kick in. Yeah.

OK, gonna go see if I can relax enough to get a few hours sleep.

Here I sit...far from bright-eyed and busy-tailed (where did that expression come from, anyways?)

I was up quite late last night. I've written before how I can't sleep very well when Marcus isn't home. I haven't been sleeping well period lately. Between the stress I'm under, my weight, our neighbors, the local wildlife, the dog and Marcus' alarm, I can't remember the last time I slept uninterrupted for more than 4 hours.

I took every precaution I could to get as much sleep as possible. I spent an hour trying to figure out how to turn off his darned alarm. He's got one of those cool Timex Atomic Time clocks that keeps in sync with the Atomic Clock in Boulder, I'm guessing. It's awesome after a power outage because it will be correct within a few seconds. The bad thing...you need a mechanical engineering degree to work the darned thing. I doubt the paper copy of the instructions that came with it still exist in our household. Marcus' position is that, "Instructions are for girls." Yeah, well, hello? I am one. A search on the Timex site produced nothing. I can only get instructions for the watches currently being sold, it seems. You think they'd archive the old ones somewhere. I finally found a guy on the internet that was as frustrated as I with the convoluted process of setting the alarm. Fortunately, he scanned the instructions and I printed them out. Yay!!! I decided to let the dog have free roam of the house so he wouldn't pant all night. I went to the bathroom so my bladder wouldn't wake me up.

All for naught. I woke up at about the same time Marcus' alarm would've gone off. Boooooo! I tried to go back to sleep. By then, the dog knew I had stirred and he wanted to go out. I GIVE UP!