Domestic Geek

So have you ever had a zit or ingrown hair in your nose and it hurts like hell but you can't do anything about it because it's really up in there and it's itchy and making your nose run and your eyes water and all you want to do is rip your nose off your face because at least you could get to it and make it stop?!!!

Yeah, me neither.

I just got back from storage and I found more supplies that I had bought for that garland...more beads to paint and more yarn, just not the darned instructions!!!!! I threw out a whole trunk load of stuff: stained paper, old coloring books, plastic crates that are cracking because I've had them since my freshman year of college in 1984 (LOL). I didn't realize I still had so many craft supplies over there. I knew I had a box of styrofoam and a box of pinecones. I found my old ukalele that I bought in Hawaii. I wish I had learned to play it. *sigh* I also went through a whole box of old woman's magazines (like Woman's Day and Good Housekeeping) that I had kept for Christmas party ideas. I'm chucking the whole thing. If I ever need to throw a dinner party like that, there are plenty of recipes on the Internet. I giggled at one fo the magazines from 1987, though. The hair! And the shoulder pads! Gotta love '80s fashion!

How in the hell did it get to be almost Labor Day weekend? My 40th birthday is a mere 12 days away! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

OK, I'm better now. That is all.

I spent all day yesterday going through stuff. Why do we (people) need so much stuff? A whole family of pioneers used to get across the country with only as much stuff as would fit in the wagon. I cringe when I think of how much money I've wasted on things that really have no value anymore. I spent hundred of dollars on WWF wrestling figures in the early '90s. I had no reason to get them other than an obsession with wrestlers and a desire to own all the figures. I wasted hours and tons of gas driving from toy store to toy store to find one I didn't yet own. Now, they sit in a box. I don't give a rat's ass about wrestling. I probably couldn't get more than $20 for them on ebay. Those Star Trek vhs tapes that I just had to have? I've maybe watched each one twice. They sat on a shelf collecting dust. Absolutely worthless now. I bet if I gave them to Goodwill, they'd probably have to trash them. Who buys vhs tapes anymore?

I'm pretty certain that DVDs will go this way eventually. As broadband connections get better, we'll be able to download to disk almost any movie we want to see instantly...or it will be on some giant server somewhere that we can access immediately though our ISPs. Even now, with services like Netflix and Blockbuster, why pay to keep hard copies of stuff around when you can have it mailed to you in a couple of days?

I've got at least eight boxes of viynl albums in storage. I wonder if they've warped by now. I've entertained the idea of ripping them all to digital, but should I really bother? I mean, I haven't listened to a vinyl album since my player broke over 10 years ago. The quality will suck. Should I just give it up? Just purchase CDs or iTunes versions of songs I really want? Most albums only ever had one good song on them anyway. I'm torn on this one.

I've got four HUGE boxes of stuffed animals—mainly teddy bears. Are there any charities out there that would accept used stuffed animals?

I spent a good portion of the day yesterday trying to find the instructions I spoke of last Thursday to the crocheted popcorn garland I was making. I'm pretty sure it was in a craft magazine. The problem: I have three whole bookcase shelves full of craft magazines and patterns. If I live to be 100, I'll never produce a fraction of those projects. When we moved a few years ago, I had weeded out a lot of the magazines that didn't have projects I would ever do. It's time to do that again.

Marcus and I brought a bunch of stuff from storage two nights ago to throw in the dumpster. Some jerkwad was rifling through the dumpter and left a lot of that stuff laying on the ground. If someone can get use of our garbage, more power to them, but I wish they wouldn't leave a mess for someone else to clean up behind in their wake.

OK, that's if for now...gonna go look through and trash more stuff.

Whoops, totally slipped my mind to do a 100 Fact yesterday. Oh, well...it didn't say anywhere they had to be 100 consecutive days, right?

I was way too angry yesterday and then I slipped into a horrible depression. Hormones from my period, the stress of no money, the empty feeling in my body because I'm not eating right, the worthlessness I'm feeling because I can't find work, the anger I still feel for my old place of employment, the annoyance I have of the whole job-searching practice, the dreariness of living somewhere that hasn't ever felt like home, the frustration of dealing with stupid people, the sadness I feel letting go of stuff I've carried around with me for 15–20 years that has lost the sentimental attachment it once had, the lonliness I feel because I can't connect with people and I still miss my Mom after almost 10 years, the disappointment I have in what I've let my life and my body become...it was all too much. I snapped.

It all started when I was going though old pictures and found one of myself from high school. I never thought I was attractive then, but looking back I was darned cute. I had my Farrah hair, a good tan from a band trip or band camp, I was only 40–50 pounds overweight but I was excercising because of Marching Band. Plus, I've always had pretty eyes. *sigh* I know I'll never look like that again, but I've got to get healthy again.

I still wonder now why guys in high school never asked me out. I only ever went out on one date in high school and that was a huge mistake. I've written before about how I always felt invisible. I always had more guy friends than girls, but I was always thought of as "one of the guys." Since I've lost contact with anybody I went to high school with, I guess it will always be one of my life's little mysteries.