Whoops, totally slipped my mind to do a 100 Fact yesterday. Oh, well...it didn't say anywhere they had to be 100 consecutive days, right?
I was way too angry yesterday and then I slipped into a horrible depression. Hormones from my period, the stress of no money, the empty feeling in my body because I'm not eating right, the worthlessness I'm feeling because I can't find work, the anger I still feel for my old place of employment, the annoyance I have of the whole job-searching practice, the dreariness of living somewhere that hasn't ever felt like home, the frustration of dealing with stupid people, the sadness I feel letting go of stuff I've carried around with me for 15–20 years that has lost the sentimental attachment it once had, the lonliness I feel because I can't connect with people and I still miss my Mom after almost 10 years, the disappointment I have in what I've let my life and my body become...it was all too much. I snapped.
It all started when I was going though old pictures and found one of myself from high school. I never thought I was attractive then, but looking back I was darned cute. I had my Farrah hair, a good tan from a band trip or band camp, I was only 40–50 pounds overweight but I was excercising because of Marching Band. Plus, I've always had pretty eyes. *sigh* I know I'll never look like that again, but I've got to get healthy again.
I still wonder now why guys in high school never asked me out. I only ever went out on one date in high school and that was a huge mistake. I've written before about how I always felt invisible. I always had more guy friends than girls, but I was always thought of as "one of the guys." Since I've lost contact with anybody I went to high school with, I guess it will always be one of my life's little mysteries.
I was way too angry yesterday and then I slipped into a horrible depression. Hormones from my period, the stress of no money, the empty feeling in my body because I'm not eating right, the worthlessness I'm feeling because I can't find work, the anger I still feel for my old place of employment, the annoyance I have of the whole job-searching practice, the dreariness of living somewhere that hasn't ever felt like home, the frustration of dealing with stupid people, the sadness I feel letting go of stuff I've carried around with me for 15–20 years that has lost the sentimental attachment it once had, the lonliness I feel because I can't connect with people and I still miss my Mom after almost 10 years, the disappointment I have in what I've let my life and my body become...it was all too much. I snapped.
It all started when I was going though old pictures and found one of myself from high school. I never thought I was attractive then, but looking back I was darned cute. I had my Farrah hair, a good tan from a band trip or band camp, I was only 40–50 pounds overweight but I was excercising because of Marching Band. Plus, I've always had pretty eyes. *sigh* I know I'll never look like that again, but I've got to get healthy again.I still wonder now why guys in high school never asked me out. I only ever went out on one date in high school and that was a huge mistake. I've written before about how I always felt invisible. I always had more guy friends than girls, but I was always thought of as "one of the guys." Since I've lost contact with anybody I went to high school with, I guess it will always be one of my life's little mysteries.
Name: LaDonna
