Domestic Geek

Have you ever had a dream where you won the lottery and then reality hit you hard in the face when you woke up that you hadn't? I did this morning. That's how my day started. My mom was also in the dream (very much alive and well), so that hurt, too. I was so bummed when I woke up (two hours early) that I couldn't get back to sleep. Then I find the dog in my craft room, no word as to whether I'm ever going to be full time at work, forgot to send my Netflix movie back so I could get Pirates of the Carribean for the weekend, diarrhea on my carpet, poop on my great aunt's heirloom quilt, my shower is leaking and I don't have the money to go buy parts, I'm a burden on Marcus, there's no money for Christmas presents again this year, I want to bake Christmas cookies but I don even have enough money to buy regular food...I'm at the end of my rope.

I've been trying to not vent this stuff here because I've been trying to be more positive about life, but today was bad. While I was scrubbing the carpet, I just lost it. The huge feeling of hopelessness just overcame me and I started bawling. I'm just so tired of bad things. I'm at the same point I was last year. I don't want Christmas to come at all.

I hate scrubbing sh*t out of the carpet! It's a good thing The Office is on tonight so I can get a little humor. It will probably not be as good as last year's, but it better not suck.

I don't know what germs Marcus brought into our house, but I hate them. He was getting better, I thought I had gotten the upper hand and !WHAM! I'm sick. Grrrr. It's only an annoying cough and a small fever right now, but I'm still fighting. I managed to accomplish nothing yesterday. I didn't even watch The Year Without a Santa Claus. Well, I did chip ice away from where we need to put the ladder up today, but that's about it.

Marcus didn't end up getting home from work until 7:30 this morning. His alarm went off at 7 (as it does everyday), but he wasn't in bed. I got up and the light I had left on for him was still on. No Marcus. I check IM and my phone. No messages. Our workplace isn't in the greatest neighborhood, so of course all my thoughts turned to the worst. Fortunately, he answered his cell when I called and he was on his way home. *whew* I hope he wakes up before it gets dark so he can put up my outside lights. I don't do crawling around on the roof. I don't particularly want to spend the day in the ER. Getting him to bed at a decent hour tonight is going to be a pain, too. Oh, well.

OK, I'm going to go and try to get something accomplished today.

Today is payday at work and I really don't want to see how small the check is. It's going to contain Thanksgiving (which I didn't but probably should have worked) and Tuesday where I got sent home early. I'm trying to find another part time job since the chances of becoming full time there in the near future is looking grim and I keep missing the higher paying opportunities on PPP. *sigh*

I had a whole list of stuff I wanted to blog about yesterday and by the time I got home from work, *poof*, all ideas fled my brain. I really hate when that happens. I did have a brainstorm about what I want the new design here to be, I just hope I can get it implemented before Christmas. LOL

That all said, must head off for work. I hope they can find me something to do, because I got off half an hour early yesterday because I had done everything I could do.

Ugh, I've got a little bit of Marcus' bug. Feeling icky, coughing, eyes leaking...but I'm putting up a good fight. I've bombarded my system with Vitamin C and went to bed at 8:30 last night (catching a few plays every now and again as I drifted in and out of sleep of the Bronco game until it ended at 9:30ish). This virus will not get a strong foothold in my body, dangit! When I get home from work today, I'll try to get the big tree into the stand so I can start putting lights on it this evening. I really wish I could call in to work because I really want to make Christmas cards and get a Christmas theme for this blog, but I'm not that sick and I need the money. Besides, I really shouldn't start missing work while I"m still a part-timer. I really wish they'd bump me up to full time so that my PPP money could go to paying off debts I owe instead of being money I need to live on. *sigh* Soon, I hope. Anyway, that means I'd better get my butt moving for the morning. Yap at y'all later!