Domestic Geek

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

"Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one."

Subject: Politics 101

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. F! inding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many kinds and different fabrics of curtains. She finally picks out a pink floral pattern.

The salesman asks, "What size do you need?"

She says, "17 inches."

He exclaims, "17 INCHES? What room are they for?"

She says, "It's not for a room, it's for my computer monitor."

The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not need curtains."

The blond says, "Helllllooooooo... I've got Windows!!"

A font walks into a bar.
The bartenders says: "Hey, we don't serve your type in here!"