Domestic Geek

I was watching a little blurb on The Today Show this morning while I was getting ready for work about some Australian model/Instragram star that is leaving social media because she claims it's ruining her life. While I can't believe all of her problems are due to social media, the story did get me to thinking. All the social media outlets are definitely distracting and a time suck. I was thinking about why I never seem to accomplish anything anymore. I used to craft all the time. I used to cook a lot more than I do now. I used to read a lot. I used to have lots of beautiful houseplants. I used to garden. Hell, I even used to watch a lot of television. While our living situation the last few years is partly to blame for why I don't do hardly any of that anymore, mostly the culprit is the Internet.

I spend an alarmingly large amount of time on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Ravelry. I spend so much time reading about other people's lives, that I'm really not living my own anymore. I may even be addicted. I didn't have my phone at lunch a couple of weeks ago and I was twitchy without it. I haven't even kept up this poor blog. I used to spend all sorts of time playing with the CSS, learning the code, etc. I still haven't fixed so many things I broke doing an upgrade a while back.

I'm taking a week off from work next week. I'll be up at Homestead North with just Mr. T. Except for the NaBloPoMo posts, I'm really going to make an effort to stay off the Internet. Hoping I can accomplish some real things.

The time change this year, paired with Marcus and Mr. T being up at Homestead North this week without me is kicking my ass! I am weary to the core. I have a whole list of things I want to accomplish this week and I have yet to cross one thing off. Hopefully, in the morning, I'll have the energy to make a significant post.

Just a quick post today to say that I don't feel well (never do when the time changes). I'm depressed over work crap and I'm exhausted, so I'm going to take care of myself and go to bed. I'll post my Project365 pic tomorrow, as well.

Almost forgot about NaBloPoMo - I can't believe we're in November of 2015 already. Seems like just a few days ago I was struggling to get all the posts in for the last go-round. Well, Project 365 was a bust yet again. I'm going to begin once again and see how far I get.

I wish I could say things are different from last year, but sadly, they are not. I decided on the drive up to South Dakota yesterday morning that things are going to change by next year's NaBloPoMo. I'm stuck in a rut of my own making. I bought myself this journal at BAM in Rapid City - i used to journal everyday. Physical writing is good for the creative soul - time to start up again.



I'll try to blog better the rest of the month. I had to come back to Denver today and Daylight Saving Time ended, as well. I'm tired and will have a rough night sleeping alone as Marcus and T will be at Homestead North the whole next week.

Had the most disturbing/enlightening dream last night. A bunch of people I didn't really know that well were on a stupid quest for something (no idea what anymore). We kept running into all sorts of issues and there really was no reward for completing the tasks. I woke up angry and frustrated. Perfect metaphor, I think, for my job/life at the moment. Yesterday, I was totally frustrated with the new software and the lack of organized training we're getting, my co-workers that are incompetent and/or lazy (yet will seemingly never get fired) and the pointlessness of what I do everyday (it's just mail, most of which is junk that ends up right in a trash can).

It really is time for find something better to do with my life. Marcus has put a little bug in my head that I've been contemplating for the last week. I've spent all week coming up with why it won't work. Need to squash that little voice in my head and concentrate on the pros of why it will work. I've been talking about doing something like this since college, but up until now, it's all been talk and dreams. I've been scared to make that leap. Next year I'll be 50 - time to make a jump.

I don't want to be like my 70+ year old former co-worker who just passed away and who couldn't retire because of bad choices in his life. I also don't want to be like my mother who never followed her own dreams and died way too early (also frustrated and bitter). I definitely don't want to be my father who never did anything with his life and just sits like a vegetable watching TV everyday, blaming everyone but himself for his predicament.

It's getting harder and harder on me every time I go Homestead North. I actually cried at my desk a little yesterday and had a hell of a time making myself perform my work tasks. Then, when I finally did manage to get a job done, I got an email from the account manager to put the job on hold, they were going to be changing it. It's hard enough to get though the pointlessness of it all without having to chuck it and start over. After that email, I clocked out on a long lunch and almost didn't go back. I get panic attacks almost every morning now on my drive in (both due to the job and the horrible traffic in Denver). I'm still too young to be living like this - especially in a free country where I'm not an indentured slave.

I also want to get back to this...blogging. I don't want it to be the "Blog of Woe" that Marcus once coined it as being, but I haven't felt very positive lately.