Domestic Geek

I saw this over a year ago and meant to post it. Since it showed up in my inbox again today, here it is:

I took this little personalitytest:

(moved into the extended because it makes my page load slowly)

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« All Done!

So, I came to a grim realization the other day. Once again I have made a huge boo-boo. I was reading a book at Barnes & Noble the other day that gave clues to realizing you're in the wrong job. One clue was that you spend your week counting down to Friday. A second was that sinking, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach every Sunday when you think about having to go to work the next morning. I have both of those.

When I took my job, I made the "safe" decision. I knew the guys that worked there and knew I'd have no problem being hired. I think part of me really misses school and in some weird way working with old schoolmates would have been kind of like being back there. Even though the pay being offered was a slap in the face to my skillset, I took it because I didn't want to have to work at getting interview leads and I was desperate for more income. I convinced myself that I had to take it because nobody else would hire me. I lied to myself that even thought the job was 50 miles from where I live, I'll be OK as long as I carpooled and kept doing pizza. Well, it only took one day of doing both to realize I wasn't going to cut it. I started realizing at the end of March that I had made a mistake in accepting that job, but par for me, I stuck my head in the sand and told myself that if I could make it to my six-month review, all would be well. Well, six weeks later and I realize that I can't keep up this charade.

With gas at $3 a gallon and hardly any carpooling happening for various reasons, I can't be paying $200 month for gas. I also can't keep putting those kind of miles on my vehicle or it won't last until the payments are over. The job itself is Ok, I guess, but I'm certainly overqualified for it. It's a little disheartening to put a lot of effort into a ad only to realize that it really won't be seen much because most of those ad magazines go straight to the trash. Working at the screen printer at least had the satisfaction that my work would last for awhile because people actually wore the stuff I designed.

The owner envisions those of us working there being leaders of teams of designers. I don't have that vision for myself. I should've held out for a job in the web field or the screenprinting/embroidery field. Web designing was the original reason I went to Platt in the first place. I can't believe I gave up so easily on it.

I have more that I want to say, but I can't because I don't know who reads this anymore.

I guess the biggest realization is this: I'm closing in on 40 (4 months away) and I have no benefits, no retirement, no house...I can't keep settling for less than I need. I'm tired of not being able to go out, go to the doctor, get new clothes, get new glasses. I'm tired of living to work. This is all a result of me being too wussy to go after what I want and just accepting whatever is handed to me. I'm tired of letting myself be weak. I've got to get a backbone and stand up for me.

So, guess where Marcus and I will be at 10:00am tomorrow morning:

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« All Done!

I heard it was going to be nice this weekend. HA! It's been kind of chilly and windy. I really needed to change my oil today. I guess I'll have to do it in stages because the freaking rain keeps starting and stopping. And the wind keeps blowing my oil pan around. ARGH!

Going to get oil today was a major chore. I went to the WalMart out on I-70 & Tower because it is cheaper to get the parts at WalMart than anyplace else. I absolutely can't stand shopping at the one on Expositon/Abilene. Well, of all things I can't seem to memorize is the numbers for my oil and air filters. I always have to look them up. I keep meaning to write the numbers down and keep them in my wallet, I just never manage to remember to do that. Well, even though the store is relatively new, somebody managed to smash the little machine that you look filters up on. Do they have any paper copies of those books hanging on the shelves so you can do it manually? NO! I also couldn't seem to find an associate to help me out. Losers. I decided I wasn't waiting in any line just to buy the oil, so I left and went to the one out on Smoky Hill & Gun Club Rd. Their machine worked, but they were out of my oil filter! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I ended up having to buy a higher priced one because I wasn't stopping anywhere else. So, I get home and have to let my car cool off a bit before I start the oil change. Here come the clouds, wind and rain. YeeeHawww. I got all of the tools assembled and the stupid cover taken off the bottom so I could get to my oil filter just as the downpour started. After that quit, I went out and got the oil plug and oil filter off and was letting it drain and the rain started again. So, it looks like the rain has quit again. I hope it holds out enough that I can finish up.

On another note, I watched The Wedding Crashers last night. I really like Owen Wilson, so I gave it a chance. It was a stupid movie.