Domestic Geek

It hit me hard this morning how much deep shit I've gotten myself into.

I'm trying to remain positive. Really, I am.

After all the reading I've been doing on The Law of Attraction and manifesting, I know that my negativity has gotten me to this point. I pretty much asked for all of this on both conscious and subconscious levels. I wish I could get to the core of why I am so angry and why I sabotage myself. It's hard for me to maintain friendships. I'm so reclusive and withdraw from things and people so easily. I want to be left alone, yet I crave validation and acceptance. I'm feeling so lost right now. I am starting to doubt myself again. I feel myself slipping into one of those deep depressions that I go into every so often where my whole existance seems pointless. What is my passion? If I never had to worry about money, what would I want to do? What would make me happy? I...just...don't...know.

I've read that meditation can help you find your purpose and find peace. I've been unable to truly disconnect from what is going on around me. My brain is so full of thoughts that I can't seem to turn them off.

Wow, I've had a lot going on this week:

On Monday, I drove down to Colorado Springs to meet with a new client. I got a little nostalgic and was wishing I could move back down there until I took a drive down Academy Blvd. Totally reminded me of one of the reasons I hated living there. People down there drive worse than up here. Then, I watched a cool movie called The Secret. It's about manifesting and the Law of Attraction, etc. I've really been intrigued by this kind of thought, lately. I'll post more of my thoughts on that subject later.

I had many errands to run on Tuesday and spent a lot of time hanging out in the bookstores. I hit Tattered Cover again. Still wasn't impressed. I stopped in at Barnes & Noble on Colorado Blvd. and found that a book that I had recently bought now had a 40% off sticker on it. Oh, well. I splurged and bought myself a pair of biking gloves at Bicycle Village. They were black/yellow and match my bike. I've been tryng to run down a matching helmet (mine is over 15 years old and it finally fell apart). You'd think with as popular the Tour is and how popular Lance is, that you could find yellow helmets aplenty. Not so. I can get a Giro Atmos LiveStrong helmet for $189.99. Yeah.

Wednesday got to a 100°F--that totally sucked. Dad took me out to lunch, though. Then I went and got myself a PO Box for my freelancing. I guess I'm really going to do this after all. Plus, I signed up for the Blogathon. Please sponsor me! You don't have to fulfill your pledge until after the event is over. I've got one pledge so far (Thanks, Yoshi!). C'mon guys--it's a good cause. Lance would want you to sponsor me! I watched the last disk for season one of 24. I hated the ending! Not cool. Oh, and I got to steam clean Skippy diarrhea out of the carpet. That was fun in triple digit heat.

Yesterday, I took myself on a bike ride (ended up riding around Fairmount Cemetary of all places). I tried to find my grandmother's grave, but it's been so long since I've been that I couldn't find it. On the way back to my car, I stopped and visited with my friend Nina for a bit. I went home and took a shower because I was hot and stinky. As soon as I got out of the shower, my friend Dave stopped by out of the blue to take me to lunch. I got a call from someone wanting me to come interview for a part-time job. I googled the phone number and the business is over at Colfax and Carr. Um, too far for part-time. Plus, it was for a place that I told the placement woman I didn't want to work for (a classified ad paper place--I know that work would be super boring!).

Today I spent most of the day with an old friend from Platt. I emailed her earlier in the week and told her we needed to get together soon. I had my first appletini and my first sushi. She took me to Tokyo Joe's for lunch and she got us some California Rolls. Not too bad. I've been on a mission to do things that I've been meaning to do but haven't for one lame excuse or another. She informed me that the placement woman from Platt no longer works there. It would've been nice to be informed of this. No wonder she hasn't done shit to help me find work (except batch send my resume to someplace I told her not to). Apparently, nobody has been hired to replace her. Nice. I might stop in Monday to find out what the heck is going on there. Grrrrr.

I've also been watching le Tour de France with Marcus all week. He's obsessed. I never thought I'd be watching cycling on TV. I still don't totally get the stategerie that goes into this sport, but I know there is method to the madness. It amazes me that people can make a living riding a bike!

So, this week has reminded my why I hate having a M–F 8–5 job. It was great having the freedom to hang with friends and be home so my poor old dog doesn't have to be cooped up all day. I'm going to be posting stuff on ebay tomorrow. I've really got to push this freelance thing and I need to get an office phone. Trying to take notes while on my cell is a pain. Plus, my ear gets hot.

Well, that's enough for now. SPONSOR ME!!!!!!!

Note to self:Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days series starts again next Wednesday.

OK, I did it...I just signed up for the 2006 Blogathon. I couldn't do it in years past because the stupid everyday pizza job kept me from being able to blog the whole 24 hours. I almost couldn't do it this year, either. I misread the time it started (0600 Pacific is six AM, not PM--d'oh!) and thought it started at 7PM Mountain time. My friend got us tickets to see The Wiz (one of our teachers from Platt plays The Wiz in it) at 2pm. When I realized my mistake after I signed up, I got really upset. While reading the FAQ on how to drop out, I saw they have a Sabbath schedule for those of the Jewish faith. It begins at 2100 Pacific (that's 10pm here). I decided to go ahead with that option. While not ideal, I still get to blog for my charity and still get to go see the play with my friend.

So, after all of that, you readers better Sponsor Me! Get your friends to sponsor me. Do it! NOW! Actually, you can sponsor me anytime up until 48 hours after the event.



I teetered between a couple of charities that I would support, but this time my charity of choice is LiveStrong/Lance Armstrong Foundation. Anyone that knows us knows how much of an icon Lance Armstrong is around our house. Also, getting cancer has got to be one of the most traumatic/scariest things that can happen to a person. I'm all for helping give people hope and support to overcome it.

If that charity doesn't appeal to you, go to the blogathon participating bloggers list and sponsor someone with a charity you do wish to support.

Hmm...I think I need a redesign for this!

I saw the following meme over at Dave Does the Blog. I think I've watched waaaaay too much TV in my lifetime.

I don't know who made the list, but they missed some big ones that I watch: CSI: Crime Scene Investigators, Fantasy Island, Ghost Whisperer, Joan of Arcadia, Medium, Survivor, The Apprentice, Two and a Half Men, Law & Order, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Without a Trace and many more that I can't think of right now.

Bold all the shows you’ve watched at least three full episodes of:

Wait—here’s more »

« All Done!

♫♫♫♫♫

So, while purusing the job listings on craigslist, I saw a post that had music notes in the title. ♫ will render these. Cool.