Domestic Geek

Once again I am cursing myself for my choice of career path. Well, maybe not the actual career, but my timing of getting into it. I loved playing and designing on computers back in the late '80s, early '90s. Why didn't I do something about it then? Oh, yeah, I was paying off my 6-year mistake of a Bachelor Degree in music education. Once that was mostly paid off, I made two-year mistake of getting an associates in computer technology.

When I started Platt on June 17, 2002, I was told the entry-level salary for a graphic designer was $32,000-$35,000/yr. I can handle that, thought I. Well, here I am just four years later out trying to find another job in the field and these places won't even pay $30K if you have gobs of experience. Entry level jobs are paying $10-12/hr and you can't live and that in Denver while trying to pay off student loans. Why so low? While on Craigslist today , someone posted a link to a blog post called The Pricing Wormhole that pretty much sums up exactly what happened. If I had known the situation out there was this bleak, I may have had second thoughts about telling my boss I was job hunting. Maybe I should've found a way to suck it up to get the magical "one year" of experience at a single company (apparently two 7 month stints don't count). I had grandiose visions of freelancing that came tumbling down yesterday. Even though I knew better, I commited to do a logo for a guy for $100. Here it is 10 weeks later and he keeps dragging his feet and it is not done. Someone put me in touch with a guy that wanted a couple of "simple" changes to his web site, but he has no idea how to get into the server on which it is hosted. I wasted 90 minutes on the phone with this guy yesterday and still no job. He was supposed to call me this morning with that info if he could get it. Since I haven't heard squat from him, I guess he can't get in. With the foul mood I've been in the last couple of days, I'm not going to harass him to make $25.

Platt College is more or less a nursing school now. I heard rumors that they may phase out the graphic design program altogether. You can't get students when they can only make $25k a year to start (if there is even a job to be had when they graduate).

I'm not giving up. I'm just frustrated. This is hard to swallow, but I used to make more than $25K a year when I was a full time pizza delivery driver--a job that requires no special training whatsoever. It's a good thing that gas prices soared or I would've gone back already.

I'm trying not to compain on here anymore, but I have to get this off my chest. It made me so angry yesterday, I thought I was going to explode.

I always get excited when I see local numbers on my cell phone...hoping it is someone calling me for a job interview. Yesterday, I got a call from a 303 area code while I was in talking to the people at Platt. I quickly call my voicemail only to find its the graphics dept. manager from the job I was just let go from. He wants me to change some stuff on the Filemaker database. Um, I don't work there anymore. I can't access your databse from home. Uh...NO! He went on forever...are you doing ok? Have you found a job yet? etc, etc, etc. If you really cared, you would've waited until I found something and gave my two weeks' notice, then found my replacement. Instead, I was let go. Bite me. I emailed him back (if I would've called him, I might've said something I would've later regretted) and told him that if they want further database modifications, they need to hire somebody because I'm not interested. That cleared one thing up, though. They invited me to the company picnic that's at Chatfield tomorrow. I've been teetering as to whether I should go or not. I mean, I'm still really hurt and angry at being more or less fired. I did want to go ride on one of the franchise owner's boat, though, and partake of the BBQ lunch. After yesterday's message, I emailed the office manager and told her I wouldn't be attending Wednesday's event. Why should I spend money on gas and park fees to hang with people that screwed me over or listen to them strategizing how to build a business of which I am no longer a part? I'm tired of acting professional and pretending that the way I left that company was OK. It wasn't.

I'm cutting all ties I had to that place and moving on.

I can't sleep. Too much stuff in my head and all of it making me want to cry.

Well, I stopped in at Platt and the placement woman is definitely gone. They haven't even begun looking for her replacement, though. Great. Thanks for nothing.

I'm in a horrible, defeatist mood. I hope it's just the result of PMS or something. I wish I could run away and hide.

Man, I had a horrible night. Loud neighbors arguing outside my window at 11:30 pm. Dog panting all night. Itchy skin and stuffy nose from mosquito bites. Getting up at 4 am to let the dog out. Horrible nightmares. I woke up more tired than when I went to bed.

There are two dreams that I remember clearly. The first one had Marcus and I driving east on Jewell approaching Peoria. We saw a scared Malamute standing in the road and I pulled over. While the dog had no collar, we knew he lived in the condo that he was standing in front of. The gate was cracked open, so Marcus entered to go knock on the door. It was also open and a black lab came tearing out of the place. We called the police and it turned out the owner of the two dogs had been murdered. I woke up at that, terribly freaked out. That was unnerving. The second one involved me not being able to find another job and crawling back to my old place of employment. The owner's brilliant solution to the long drive was to put a bed in every already overcrowded office and we were to sleep in shifts and not drive home. I said this was crap, I tried to leave, but I couldn't. I was a prisoner. *shudder* Fortunatley, Marcus' alarm went off and got me out of that one.

I've much to do today. I have the shower is our master bath all disassembled. I've been slacking at cleaning it and the combination of hard water and soap scum has been a nightmare to get off. I found a great cleaner at Home Depot, but the fumes are attrocious and I can't be around them for extended period of time. I'm also trying to put the track back on the door that keeps the water from going under the door. It fell off a long time ago and I've yet to put it back on. At some point I'm going to have to redo the caulk on the bottom, but not this time. We've been using the shower in the back bathroom. Marcus says it feels like using a hotel shower back there. LOL

Sending more resumes out today. I will find a job this week. I am not crawling back to my old job...ever. I'm going to swing by Platt and find out what's up with the placement department. I'd like to think that the next person can't be worse than the old one, but he/she very well could be (if they even have a replacement yet at all).

I'm having lunch with Marcus today. Once I find that new job, I won't be able to go have lunch with him anymore (unless it is in the same neighborhood).

There's a new Woody Allen movie out called Scoop. I just saw a preview. I don't understand Woody Allen at all. In that I think Bob Dillon can't sing, Woody Allen can't act. His movie themes are dumb.

OK, back to that shower.