From Rev:
DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
- When you push me away in the middle of a perfectly good leg-humping.
- Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
- Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG !!
- How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
- Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
- Dog sweaters. Have you noticed what my fur is for?
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
- When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
- Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
- The sleight of hand, fake -fetch -throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hadn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!!
Name: LaDonna
