Domestic Geek

The meeting I was supposed to have with the new placement person yesterday was cancelled. I was a little bummed by it, but there really wasn't anything I could do to change it. I keep telling myself that these things happen for a reason. This time I saw the reason immediately. We rescheduled for today and I happened to be meeting with the placement person when one of my old instructors (and a former placement person herself) stopped in to say hi. She's looking for some temporary help with one of her endeavors, so I'm stopping by to meet her business partner tomorrow. Hopefully this will get cash coming in now and lead to more contract type work in the future.

An interviewer asked me recently if I could have any job in the world, money not a consideration, what would I like to be doing? The fact is, I don't know. When I started design school, I thought I wanted to be a designer. I loved playing on the computer, making web sites and learning new code. I still do, I just hate doing it for other people. They ruin the fun of it for me. They make it a chore. It's not design anymore, it's just churning out crap. The best job I've had so far was the production artist gig at the screenprinter (before they really started going downhill). It didn't pay enough to live on, however.

I wish I could find out what it is that I am passionate about. Marcus has and I'm a little jealous. I was reading on some site last week that if you find your passion, the money will come. Great. The fact is right now I'm stuck. I'm angry. I'm cynical. I'm jaded.

I hope I figure it out soon, though. I'm tired of spinning my wheels or driving in reverse. If I have the good fortune of living to 80 or beyond, my life is only half over. I'd really like to enjoy the time I have left on this planet, not dread it.

Remember how I was mad that my ex place of employment had the nerve to call and ask for my help after I was let go? Damned if it didn't happen again this morning. I checked my phone this morning and there is a local number that left a message. Once again, I'm hoping it's someone wanting to schedule an interview. Nooooooo, It's one of the designers from that place wanting me to help them because their network was down. NO! I gave the office manager Marcus' card and told all of them if there were network problems to call Marcus. I can't believe the nerve of these people. I might feel differently if I had left on my terms, but I was let go. I'm still unemployed. I'm not calling you back. You people suck!

Once again I am cursing myself for my choice of career path. Well, maybe not the actual career, but my timing of getting into it. I loved playing and designing on computers back in the late '80s, early '90s. Why didn't I do something about it then? Oh, yeah, I was paying off my 6-year mistake of a Bachelor Degree in music education. Once that was mostly paid off, I made two-year mistake of getting an associates in computer technology.

When I started Platt on June 17, 2002, I was told the entry-level salary for a graphic designer was $32,000-$35,000/yr. I can handle that, thought I. Well, here I am just four years later out trying to find another job in the field and these places won't even pay $30K if you have gobs of experience. Entry level jobs are paying $10-12/hr and you can't live and that in Denver while trying to pay off student loans. Why so low? While on Craigslist today , someone posted a link to a blog post called The Pricing Wormhole that pretty much sums up exactly what happened. If I had known the situation out there was this bleak, I may have had second thoughts about telling my boss I was job hunting. Maybe I should've found a way to suck it up to get the magical "one year" of experience at a single company (apparently two 7 month stints don't count). I had grandiose visions of freelancing that came tumbling down yesterday. Even though I knew better, I commited to do a logo for a guy for $100. Here it is 10 weeks later and he keeps dragging his feet and it is not done. Someone put me in touch with a guy that wanted a couple of "simple" changes to his web site, but he has no idea how to get into the server on which it is hosted. I wasted 90 minutes on the phone with this guy yesterday and still no job. He was supposed to call me this morning with that info if he could get it. Since I haven't heard squat from him, I guess he can't get in. With the foul mood I've been in the last couple of days, I'm not going to harass him to make $25.

Platt College is more or less a nursing school now. I heard rumors that they may phase out the graphic design program altogether. You can't get students when they can only make $25k a year to start (if there is even a job to be had when they graduate).

I'm not giving up. I'm just frustrated. This is hard to swallow, but I used to make more than $25K a year when I was a full time pizza delivery driver--a job that requires no special training whatsoever. It's a good thing that gas prices soared or I would've gone back already.

I'm trying not to compain on here anymore, but I have to get this off my chest. It made me so angry yesterday, I thought I was going to explode.

I always get excited when I see local numbers on my cell phone...hoping it is someone calling me for a job interview. Yesterday, I got a call from a 303 area code while I was in talking to the people at Platt. I quickly call my voicemail only to find its the graphics dept. manager from the job I was just let go from. He wants me to change some stuff on the Filemaker database. Um, I don't work there anymore. I can't access your databse from home. Uh...NO! He went on forever...are you doing ok? Have you found a job yet? etc, etc, etc. If you really cared, you would've waited until I found something and gave my two weeks' notice, then found my replacement. Instead, I was let go. Bite me. I emailed him back (if I would've called him, I might've said something I would've later regretted) and told him that if they want further database modifications, they need to hire somebody because I'm not interested. That cleared one thing up, though. They invited me to the company picnic that's at Chatfield tomorrow. I've been teetering as to whether I should go or not. I mean, I'm still really hurt and angry at being more or less fired. I did want to go ride on one of the franchise owner's boat, though, and partake of the BBQ lunch. After yesterday's message, I emailed the office manager and told her I wouldn't be attending Wednesday's event. Why should I spend money on gas and park fees to hang with people that screwed me over or listen to them strategizing how to build a business of which I am no longer a part? I'm tired of acting professional and pretending that the way I left that company was OK. It wasn't.

I'm cutting all ties I had to that place and moving on.