Domestic Geek

I'm hanging out at Marcus' workplace today. I'm going to help him with something in a few hours, but he and another guy are busy working on something else right at the moment. We didn't want to waste the money for both of us driving over here, so I brought a movie, a book and my cross-stitch to keep me occupied. In addition to the old Internet here, I'll have plenty to do.

I'm watching The Breakup right now. Why in the hell do women get a guy and then try to change them? Stupid. Listen up, women. Take a good look at what your man is like. That is what you get. If you don't like it, look for someone else. Also, take a look in the mirror. We woman aren't perfect either. In fact, we pretty much suck. I'm really surprised there are actually any men in the world willing to live with us. Also, a guy either pays half or more for the home you live in. If he wants a pool table, deal with it. If he wants to keep his action figures on a shelf next to your figurines, so be it. He puts up with your stupid pillows and cross stitch pictures on the wall. It's all about compromise. I hate women who keep men in basements or garages and then complain that they never spend any time in the house. They feel comfortable there because that's the only space you let them decorate. Remember Marcus' tech tree from last year because I didn't feel like decorating? Some women were appalled that I would "let" him do that. I thought it was cool. It's like those women that won't let men show their collections in the house. Why? Just because you don't like them doesn't mean the collection doesn't have value. Women complain that men never help around the house, yet they ignore lawn mowing, repairs, etc. They bitch that men are inconsiderate and yet they're totally inconsiderate of their men's feelings and needs. Quit demanding equality in your relationship. There is no such thing. It's push and pull. Give and take. Also, stop bitching to your friends and family about how men suck. You create your own reality. Maybe if you looked for and appreciated the good in your partner, the bad wouldn't be so overwhelming.

I'm reminded of when I worked as an insider at my old pizza job. All of the women there would commiserate about how bad their men were. They were highly annoyed that I wouldn't join in. I wish they could've heard themselves. I told them once that maybe the reason their relationships sucked was because of their attitudes about them. I mean, I'd be pissed if I knew Marcus was complaining to others about every little annoying thing about me.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

The Office is a repeat tonight...already? What the hell? I really hate the way network television works anymore. It used to be every show premiered the same week, had a half season run, did repeats around the holidays, came back in January with new shows or those that tanked were replaced. During those repeat times, you could watch shows on other networks that you missed. Now? Who knows? They start the season whenever they feel like it, none of the networks are the same. Even a single network doesn't have all of its shows on the same schedule. One show during an evening might be new and the one right after a repeat. It's dang frustrating, I tell you.

I watched all of the Ugly Betty episodes on ABC's website today. Several people around the net have raved about it, so I checked it out. It wasn't bad. Not something I would care much if I missed, but not bad. I caught up with Jericho finally. I still get the willies every time they talk about Denver having been hit or Denver's not there anymore. *shudder*

I really need to whittle down my sidebar. I'm sick of how long it is. I may just make myself a links page or something and take all of that extra crap out of there. Hmmm. Gonna have to think on that one.

OK, I guess I'd better go. My darned mouse is dying and I need to charge it.

How did it get to be Wednesday again already?

I really wished I had known last May how bad the employment environment around here was (especially for graphic designers) before I told the owner of the company I was working for that I wanted to find another job. Every time that loser from there calls, I keep hoping it's to get my old job back. I hated it, but at least it was in the field and I was making an income.

I really wish I could move somewhere else. Unfortunatley, we can't afford to move this stupid house again and besides, Marcus now has a decent paying job. Even if he wanted to leave (he doesn't), he can't. So I'm stuck. I'm either going to have to do some kind of retail or go back to pizza (if any of those places will even hire me). Of course, I couldn't be a driver because my plates are expired and my brakes are shot. I'm not looking for advice or job leads, I just need to vent about how my self-esteem is in the toilet, how my levels of motivations are sinking and it sucks that Christmas is coming and not only do I not have a job or any prospects for a job, I have no money, either. I can't even sell anything because I don't own anything. I've already gotten rid of everything that I personally own of any value. Even my computers I use aren't really mine.

The tears are flowing too hard to continue this. I'm going to go take a hot shower and get back to sending out fruitless resumes.

That stupid former supervisor of mine called again this morning. He didn't leave a message, but I know what he wants because he left a message on Marcus' phone on Friday. Their stupid Filemaker server crashed last week and he expects me to help them fix it. Screw that. I don't work for you anymore. You saw to that. I'm not doing you any favors. Either the owner can fix it (he's somewhat computer literate) or you can pay a professional. Even if I wanted to help them (which I don't), I would have to drive down there to fix it. Like I remember anything I did with Filemaker over 3 months ago. I want to send him an email telling him that unless he's offering a full-time job, quit calling me. I won't, though. Creep.

I made a decision this morning that was really hard. See, I have an obsessive compulsive personality (it's why I don't let myself go gambling). You should see all of these lists I made for this stupid puzzle trying to find all the pieces. Well, this morning I'm walking away. I still had 14 pieces to find, people had found 8 more than I, I don't know where else to look and it quit being fun two days ago. I stopped. It's tempting to open the searches and start again, but I've wasted too much on this already. I think that's why I'm a little sad and a lot angry. Not because I didn't win, but because I let myself get sucked into this. I've gained a couple of pounds this week because I haven't moved from in front of this computer between both job and puzzle hunting. I'll continue the job hunt, but I need to quit wasting my time on this. My house is a mess. I'm a mess. Congratulations to whoever wins it.