Domestic Geek

OK, I got the following email joke today. Please don't take offense as I'm not being racist. It's a funny joke.

The Chinese Wedding Night

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis your firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask... So... Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try something I have heard about from other gurls... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her. "You want... Garlic Chicken with steam vegetable?"

I saw this strip over at GoComics today. I laughed so hard I cried.

Any designer who has been around a while hates certain fonts because of their overuse and their inappropriate use. One of these among the design community is Comic Sans. In fact, I had a CSR last week suggest that as a font I should use for her client's cover. I gently had to steer her away from that particular font. That's why this Achewood comic is so darned funny. [via Moxiegirls]

OK, a friend posted a link on a message board to which I belong to something hilarious that I just have to share here. For it to be funny, you have to like or at least heard a little bit of the musical group Smashing Pumpkins.

"What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkin Lost His Car Keys"

Enjoy!

I noticed a few weeks ago that I wasn't getting my daily FoxTrot comics. I figured it was some screw up on the comics site as it had happened before with another comic I used to get daily. Then I noticed that I was getting Sunday strips. WTH? Well, I finally remembered to check into it last night over at FoxTrot.com and it turns out that Bill Amend has gone into semi-retirement.

“After spending close to half of my life writing and drawing FoxTrot cartoons, I think it’s time I got out of the house and tried some new things,??? said Amend. “I love cartooning and I absolutely want to continue doing the strip, just not at the current all-consuming pace.

As of the first of the year, he's only putting out the Sunday strip. Oh, well, I'm sure trying to be witty all the time can burn you out. Thanks for all the laughs, Bill...can't wait to see what other projects you've got in mind.

Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

I totally meant to post this last December and it totally slipped my mind until tonight when they replayed the Saturday Night Live episode that had Justin Timberlake as the guest/musical guest. That episode was the best SNL episode I've seen in a long time. In fact, I downloaded it from iTunes, I liked it so much. Justin is really talented and I love how he can make fun of himself. Marcus really liked the "Homelessville" sketch (I can't find it anymore to link to it-it's been removed) and quotes the danged thing all the time. The following one was my favorite (WARNING: the following video is adult content/may not be safe for work):

When I'm driving on I-25, I often see big pick-up trucks with rubber testicles on their trailer hitches swinging to and fro. I joked to my passenger once that a guy has gotta have balls to drive around with those on his truck. LOL (My passenger did not have a sense of humor — Hmph!)

Dang, I wish I could remember which site I had found this on while surfing around earlier, but there's a cute cartoon out there in cyberland called "Being Five. It's about a little kid that blogs using voice recognition software — too cute! Here's one that I thought was exceptionally cute: