Domestic Geek

The following was sent to me by my friend, Nina:

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixtyyears."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain 20 people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

Monkey said! , "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family; For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.

Current mood: frustrated
Today has got to be the absolute worst day I've had in a loooooong time. It was one of those days where I woke up feeling out of sorts. Everything was just out of whack. Of course, the weather being totally crappy all day didn't help at all. First I found out that the Avs lost last night, so there goes all the money I was going to make delivering during the games. Then, I lost total track of time at school and didn't get my project finished that was due today. *sigh* Oh, well, grades aren't all that important, right? Then I found a refurbished iMac on Apple.com, but I didn't get the loan I needed to buy it. I spent over an hour on the phone today with the stupid bank after being hung up on yesterday only to be declined. *double sigh* That made me late for work. Then I wiped out in the mud between the house and my car. I landed right on my hip. It hurts like heck. I tried to clean the mud off best as I could as I only have one pair of black jeans that I can wear to work, but I couldn't get it all out and then I had to wear wet, cold jeans to work. Then we were all busy at work because of the rain, but the dumbass customers weren't tipping. I made a whopping $2.50 after my first FIVE runs. So, I'm off to wash some clothes and get my poor hurting body to bed. I just hope I can walk in the morning.

Over the past several years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer's research. Scientists predict that by 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them.
(from the May 2003 issue of Playboy)

Current mood: excited
OK, everybody. Here it is, what EVERYONE on the Internet has been searching for: A link to the Toys 'R' Us Singing Bunnies Commercial. Enjoy!!!
**Many, many thanks to Rob C. from the The Filmworkers Club, the company that made the commercial. He commented on this post and supplied the link!!!!**

UPDATE 4/1/04: The link from last year for the commercial is no longer valid, but a commenter provided another link where you can see the commercial.

UPDATE 4/2/04: Due to popular demand, the creator of this commercial has put the original link back up for everyone that wants to go see the bunnies.

UPDATE 4/10/04: For those of you who want this for your own, commenter Chris is offering the commercial for download from his site. The link is http://www.toda.ws/bunnies.mpeg. Windows users right-click on the link and select "Save Target As...", Mac users either right-click or control-click on the link and select "Downlaod Linked File As..." Much as I would love to send an attached email to everybody that wants the commercial, between work and school, I just don't have the time. Sorry :(

OMG, the Detroit Red Wings were swept in the hockey playoffs by Anaheim. Who'd have thunk you'd ever see that happen? Wow.