Domestic Geek

In about 2½ days, I'll begin my marathon blogging session for Blogathon 2006.

I'm up to $85.00 in pledges thus far. Thanks everyone that has pledged. If you haven't yet, please Sponsor Me!. You don't actually make good on your pledge until after the event, so go make your pledge NOW! You can still sponsor me up to 48 hours after the event, as well.

I'm going to take the time between blogging to work on some craft stuff. Since i've moved my computer to my craft room and I have a bathroom right outside the door, this should work well. I may set up my mini fridge back here just for the weekend, as well.

Have I mentioned before how Yoshi is the man? Well, he is.

Not only did he code an Expression Engine Linklink module so I could get away from blogrolling, he was the first to sponsor me in this year's Blogathon and now he has helped me implement Dynamic Headers for the post titles on this here old website. Thanks, Yoshi!

Not that I have huge readership, but go Sponsor Yoshi for the Blogathon if you can. He's blogging on behalf of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Yoshi, you rock!

So it hit me today while I was out having lunch with my dad today at Wendy's that I'm going to be 40 in a little over six weeks. When in the heck did that happen? Wasn't I just heading off to college? No, that happened 22 years ago! Didn't I just set my mind on getting Marcus (14 years ago)? The last 10 years of my life, especially, have gone by in a blink. I think it's because I've spent so much of it in a fog. When my mother went into a diabetic coma in November 1996, my life changed forever. I got really angry, I shut down emotionally except for lashing out at people, I became a recluse, I stopped really trying to live. I kept going to school to occupy my brain to keep from having to face things because I was too busy. I've gone though the motions of living, true. I continue to breathe and muddle through day to day, but I stopped dreaming and hoping and really feeling. I took on the attitude of "why bother?" I'll probably be dead in another 10 years or so, too. What was the point of putting effort into what you want when you won't be around anyway? I'm so grateful that Marcus stuck with me through all of that. Who knows what would've happened had he left.

It's only been in the last few months that I truly realized what I had been doing to myself. I feel a little tinge of regret of all the time I've wasted wallowing in my despair, for all the times I settled for less than I wanted, for all the opportunites that I turned my back on. I've been trying to be better. This week was hard. I can contribute some of that to good old Aunt Flo, but I did have a horrible episode of despair and depression a couple of days ago. I reached out and enjoyed myself last week only to totally turn inward and avoid people this week. It's frustrating.

Well, I guess I'd better go to bed. I'll do some reading until Marcus gets home.

Well, this is what I've been dreading about Marcus' new job. He's the only IT guy for a fairly large company. It's a printer that runs the presses 24/7, so that means he's on call all the time. We were sitting in the family room watching Mythbusters on the PVR, relaxing after both of us had pretty crappy days, and he gets "the call." Yep, he had to go to work to rebuild a Windows (big surprise) box that took a dump. *sigh* What sucks is that I don't sleep well when he's not home, so I'll probably still be awake when he gets back. Man, getting him up again in the morning to go to work is going to be a bear.