Thursday, August 12, 2004

Thu
12
Aug
2004

You Know You’re From Colorado When…

As seen on Donna's site:
You Know You're From Colorado When...
  • People move onto the highway at 15 miles an hour.

  • You have absolutely no recognizable accent.

  • If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".

  • You only go to Central City when friends are in from out of town.

  • You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life.

  • You think 5-points is a ghetto.

  • You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.

  • You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is, it's still a one-horse town".

  • You think only stupid people get lost in your town.

  • When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South.

  • During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding".

  • You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months.

  • If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle.

  • You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.

  • You have a broken windshield.

  • You see no reason to travel to Aurora.

  • The only RTD bus you've been on is the 16th Street shuttle.

  • You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

  • You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

  • You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

  • You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

  • You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.

  • You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

  • You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

  • You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.

  • You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.

  • You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

  • Your real Y2K fear was running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

  • The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

  • You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.

  • You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.

  • You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

  • North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from.

  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

  • You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.

  • You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.

  • You think gun control is a steady hand.

  • You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

  • You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.

  • You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

  • You're a meat eating vegetarian.

  • You think the major food groups are Boulder Bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.

  • You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate your local sports team's victory.

  • You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

  • You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista.

  • When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.

  • Your car insurance costs more than your car.

  • You have surge protectors on every outlet.

  • April showers bring May blizzards.

  • You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.

  • "Timberline" is someplace you have actually been. Many times.

  • You know what a "Chinook" is, you know what a "rocky mountain oyster" is, you know what a "fourteener" is, but you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

  • A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.

  • Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.

  • People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.

  • Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

  • Thunder has set off your car alarm.

  • A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

  • "Where we're going, we don't need roads!"

  • You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

  • You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

  • Driving directions usually include "Go over ____ Pass..."

  • You've used "checking for ticks" as an excuse to get someone naked.

  • You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. They were both in the same year.

  • You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

  • You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.

  • You never pack away your coat and sweaters.

  • You can name only two people you know who were actually born in Colorado.

  • You call tumbleweed "groundcover".

  • You love your Broncos, your Avs, your Rockies, Nuggets - well you can't have everything.

  • You or someone you know plays golf 12 months of the year.

  • You don't have AC in your home, but you use it in your car all winter long.

  • If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.

  • You can name the states that make up the Four Corners.

  • You know what and where the Continental Divide is.

  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Colorado.