Sunday, August 22, 2004

Sun
22
Aug
2004

Continuous Woe

Current mood: bearmood — blank defeatist
I'm really feeling down again. My neck constantly hurts. It's a continuous ache that ibuprofin can't subdue anymore. I can't go to a doctor (I have to figure out how to pay the $650 worth of bills outstanding for my thumb before they end up on my credit report). The insurance agent for the dude that hit us is on vacation until the 27th. I have a tooth that's acting up really bad. I can't spend more than a few minutes in front of a computer. I can't concentrate because all I can think about is how I'm holding my neck and why is it not getting any better. I'm depressed. All I want to do is sleep.

My weekend trip to Colorado Springs kind of sucked. I wanted to swim in the hotel pool, but it was raining when we checked in and the pool opened the next morning after check out time. The scrapbooking store I really wanted to visit, Creative Impressions, is gone. So is one that I frequented on Academy Blvd. Nina and I were going to have lunch at Beau Jo's Pizza, but they're gone as well. The farmer's market I liked to go to didn't really have any interesting vendors. The peaches I bought are still hard. I didn't get to enjoy any time up on top of Pikes Peak like I wanted. Nina didn't clear taking the baby with her doctor like I asked her to and babies under 3 months aren't allowed up the highway because their lungs aren't developed enough yet. We had to drop her off at a Starbucks in Woodland Park while I drove up to pick up the boys alone. They had reached the top just as I paid the toll. I got to drive the last few miles in a blinding hail storm. They were evacuting the mountain and at the last mile marker, a patrol man asked me to turn around. He let me continue when I told him I was picking up hikers. I had to put the car in 4-wheel drive to get started again. The storm cloud I was in was so thick that I could barely see the road. My nerves were shot so bad I asked Mike if he could drive down. Of course, it started clearing as we made the way back down. What a wasted trip. I should've just stayed home or maybe hit the scrapbook expo that was up in Fort Collins. Oh, well. I didn't need to spend the money, anyway, right? I'm not doing this again next year. Marcus said he and Mike can ride the cog railroad down.

I'm not doing well in school, either. I just have no motivation. I am so burned out right now that it's not even funny. I know I'm not doing my best and it is starting to concern me that I don't really care that I'm not trying. If my classes had more than just me and Chrissy, I would probably take a leave of absence. When I took the leave that last time, it helped immensely.

Oh, and my dumbass owner forgot to pay me. The deposit wasn't put into my account on Friday and when I went in this morning, there was no pay stub in the drawer. I went home and checked and still no deposit. When I called the manager, I found out I'm not the only one who didn't get paid. There's supposed to be a check there for me tomorrow. Must be nice to be such an airhead and still get through life. Ass.