Damn, this is becoming the dreaded Blog of Woe® again. I am so freaking down right now. I'm sick. I'm coughing . My throat hurts. I can't see well and have been getting terrible eye strain headaches since my glasses broke. I haven't had sex since March because I don't have the money to get my annual exam and pills and since I'm allergic to both spermicides and latex, that avenue is out. Not running the risk of conceiving a kid I don't want. I really don't want to go to this lame little contract job tomorrow. My despair and lack of cash is starting to wear on Marcus, as well. He won't admit it, but I can tell. I never heard back from the agency I contacted the other day about my depression. It's a good thing I'm not suicidal. I'll have to find another one, I guess. Story of my life, eh?
The good news is that we can probably find space for everything that we want to keep from storage. We still throw stuff away everytime we go over there. I haven't used anything from over there except the Christmas stuff since we moved here four years ago. There is a huge majority of stuff that hasn't been used since we moved out to Byers seven years ago. I'm glad I'm losing my attachment to all that junk. Who cares that I was voted most impoved sophomore at the music banquet back in 1982? If I don't, I seriously doubt that anybody else on this planet cares.
It struck me that I've really become detached from my past life. Things that used to be so important to me seem like they happened to someone else. It's sad. I wondered today if it is a side effect or coping mechanism I've developed because of the depression. Except for an occassional phone call with my one friend from college, I don't have any ties to anybody from the time I was born until I I met Dave, Mike and Marcus (except for my dad, that is). How weird and wrong is that? I'm pretty sure that I would've lost contact with Mike and Dave by now if they weren't friends of Marcus. I don't know why I can't/won't build lasting relationships with people.
Well, at least the Broncos won today. Yay, Elam!
The good news is that we can probably find space for everything that we want to keep from storage. We still throw stuff away everytime we go over there. I haven't used anything from over there except the Christmas stuff since we moved here four years ago. There is a huge majority of stuff that hasn't been used since we moved out to Byers seven years ago. I'm glad I'm losing my attachment to all that junk. Who cares that I was voted most impoved sophomore at the music banquet back in 1982? If I don't, I seriously doubt that anybody else on this planet cares.
It struck me that I've really become detached from my past life. Things that used to be so important to me seem like they happened to someone else. It's sad. I wondered today if it is a side effect or coping mechanism I've developed because of the depression. Except for an occassional phone call with my one friend from college, I don't have any ties to anybody from the time I was born until I I met Dave, Mike and Marcus (except for my dad, that is). How weird and wrong is that? I'm pretty sure that I would've lost contact with Mike and Dave by now if they weren't friends of Marcus. I don't know why I can't/won't build lasting relationships with people.
Well, at least the Broncos won today. Yay, Elam!
Name: LaDonna
