Domestic Geek

I spent all day yesterday going through stuff. Why do we (people) need so much stuff? A whole family of pioneers used to get across the country with only as much stuff as would fit in the wagon. I cringe when I think of how much money I've wasted on things that really have no value anymore. I spent hundred of dollars on WWF wrestling figures in the early '90s. I had no reason to get them other than an obsession with wrestlers and a desire to own all the figures. I wasted hours and tons of gas driving from toy store to toy store to find one I didn't yet own. Now, they sit in a box. I don't give a rat's ass about wrestling. I probably couldn't get more than $20 for them on ebay. Those Star Trek vhs tapes that I just had to have? I've maybe watched each one twice. They sat on a shelf collecting dust. Absolutely worthless now. I bet if I gave them to Goodwill, they'd probably have to trash them. Who buys vhs tapes anymore?

I'm pretty certain that DVDs will go this way eventually. As broadband connections get better, we'll be able to download to disk almost any movie we want to see instantly...or it will be on some giant server somewhere that we can access immediately though our ISPs. Even now, with services like Netflix and Blockbuster, why pay to keep hard copies of stuff around when you can have it mailed to you in a couple of days?

I've got at least eight boxes of viynl albums in storage. I wonder if they've warped by now. I've entertained the idea of ripping them all to digital, but should I really bother? I mean, I haven't listened to a vinyl album since my player broke over 10 years ago. The quality will suck. Should I just give it up? Just purchase CDs or iTunes versions of songs I really want? Most albums only ever had one good song on them anyway. I'm torn on this one.

I've got four HUGE boxes of stuffed animals—mainly teddy bears. Are there any charities out there that would accept used stuffed animals?

I spent a good portion of the day yesterday trying to find the instructions I spoke of last Thursday to the crocheted popcorn garland I was making. I'm pretty sure it was in a craft magazine. The problem: I have three whole bookcase shelves full of craft magazines and patterns. If I live to be 100, I'll never produce a fraction of those projects. When we moved a few years ago, I had weeded out a lot of the magazines that didn't have projects I would ever do. It's time to do that again.

Marcus and I brought a bunch of stuff from storage two nights ago to throw in the dumpster. Some jerkwad was rifling through the dumpter and left a lot of that stuff laying on the ground. If someone can get use of our garbage, more power to them, but I wish they wouldn't leave a mess for someone else to clean up behind in their wake.

OK, that's if for now...gonna go look through and trash more stuff.

Whoops, totally slipped my mind to do a 100 Fact yesterday. Oh, well...it didn't say anywhere they had to be 100 consecutive days, right?

I was way too angry yesterday and then I slipped into a horrible depression. Hormones from my period, the stress of no money, the empty feeling in my body because I'm not eating right, the worthlessness I'm feeling because I can't find work, the anger I still feel for my old place of employment, the annoyance I have of the whole job-searching practice, the dreariness of living somewhere that hasn't ever felt like home, the frustration of dealing with stupid people, the sadness I feel letting go of stuff I've carried around with me for 15–20 years that has lost the sentimental attachment it once had, the lonliness I feel because I can't connect with people and I still miss my Mom after almost 10 years, the disappointment I have in what I've let my life and my body become...it was all too much. I snapped.

It all started when I was going though old pictures and found one of myself from high school. I never thought I was attractive then, but looking back I was darned cute. I had my Farrah hair, a good tan from a band trip or band camp, I was only 40–50 pounds overweight but I was excercising because of Marching Band. Plus, I've always had pretty eyes. *sigh* I know I'll never look like that again, but I've got to get healthy again.

I still wonder now why guys in high school never asked me out. I only ever went out on one date in high school and that was a huge mistake. I've written before about how I always felt invisible. I always had more guy friends than girls, but I was always thought of as "one of the guys." Since I've lost contact with anybody I went to high school with, I guess it will always be one of my life's little mysteries.

What is going on today?

When I got up this morning, there was no Internet connection at all. By the time Marcus had gotten up, it was back up, but crawling. I saw a Comcast truck in the neighborhood and figured all would be well soon. I went to Marcus' bank and their machines were crawling. Now that I'm home again, it's better, but no where near the usual surfing speed I normally get.

I keep getting errors tying to check my gmail, too. *sigh*

Oh, well. It's not like I don't have other stuff to do. Marcus and I decided to get all of our stuff out of storage by the end of next month. If we can't find a place for it here in the home, we're getting rid of it. We could've just replaced everything at a fututre date for the amount of money it has been costing us to store it. Stupid. Of course, we hadn't planned on being in mobile home parks this long. What started out as a year until we can find land to put it on has turned into eight and we are still not in a position to find land. We've both had it with living here. Aurora sucks. This part of Aurora sucks even worse than others. The housing bubble in Colorado has started a slow leak and hopefully soon it will outright burst and maybe land will get down to an affordable price again.

For possible future reference:

The coolest catalog when I was teaching music was Music in Motion. They have a web site: MusicinMotion.com. Now I can throw that old catalog I've been keeping away.

Well, the bed won but I couldn't stay there long. Inconsiderate neighbors blaring Mexican polka music forced me to retreat from my bedroom. Jerks.

I also had one of those moments where I hear somebody yell my name sharply, but nobody is here. *shiver* I hate that. Does that happen to anybody else, or just to me? It would be fine if it was a warning to keep me from walking into traffic or something, but no. Just out of the blue. For no reason. Grrr.

I got all the bulbs painted for my sunflower garland. I practiced casting on kntting. Between the "I Taught Myself Knitting" kit Marcus' mom got me for Christmas and the videos on KnittingHelp.com, I may get the hang of this yet! I may go read the Knitting for Dummies book at some point, too. I think I'll tackle painting my shelf after I have lunch.