Domestic Geek

It's been a roller coaster weekend.

Yesterday, I put in another few hours at work trying to catch up on some of the file room work that I've fallen behind on being so busy. I was having second thoughts about going, but since I really need the cash right now, I sucked it up and went in. Last night, we (Mike, Nina, Marcus and myself) went to Rodezio Grill downtown to celebrate Mike's and my birthdays. They have some really good food there, not to mention handsome men dressed as Brazilian gauchos bringing you meat carved off of a sword.. I ordered a beer and that thing was HUGE! Way more alcohol than I was used to and all it did was make me really tired and unable to sleep. After we stuffed ourselves with grilled meat, we exchanged gifts. I got some gift certificates and Marcus got me a NAPP membership (National Association of Photoshop Professionals). That was so thoughtful of him! I've been wanting to join that organization for years, but always talk myself out of spending the money.

Except for being totally exhausted, this morning was cool. Marcus and I headed over to LePeeps for breakfast. When we got home, I had a whole list of things I was going to tackle and take care of today. It went downhill from there. We ended up having to have one of our rabbits put down. The vet suspects she broke her back (apparently a common rabbit problem). While trying to drag herself around, we think she either dislocated or broke a leg. We decided it wasn't fair for her to live like that. Poor thing. We got raped financially by the vet. He called beforehand to get a quote on the cost and what they told him was only half of what it really cost. They neglected to mention the cremation cost on the phone. They charged more to put a rabbit down that it did to put our dog down last January. Not cool. The receptionist was kind of thick, too. It's a good thing the vet herself was compassionate and smoothed things over a little. Marcus still will probably write a letter to complain about how it went.

After that, Marcus totally forgot that he needed to run over to work this afternoon to take care of something. After doing that and grabbing some stuff at the store for dinner, the day was pretty much shot. I had hoped to accomplish some blog stuff today, but this is about it. I'm off to bed for rest so work tomorrow doesn't totally suck. Hopefully I'll get something accomplished tomorrow.

This past weekend, I was trying to get a new dog. My life has felt empty without a dog in it and it seems that everywhere I go lately, there are reminders that I'm dogless. A friend had emailed me about a friend of hers that was fostering a dog that needed a new home. When I saw the picture, I immediately fell in love and knew I just had to have the animal. I emailed the woman back and forth and was to the point that I was filling out the questionnaire and gathering references when my friend let me know that he was an undisciplined handful.

I was crushed, but knew that no matter how badly I wanted him, having this particular dog was not a good idea. The old me would've continued towards the goal of saving the dog and been disappointed when it destroyed my things, but he new me emailed the woman back and let her know that I would have to withdraw my intentions to adopt the animal.

At least the whole ordeal was not in vain. It has strengthened my resolution that I need to get my ducks in order and get out of this mobile home park so that I can have another dog as part of the family.

Wow, I got a lot accomplished this weekend. I'll post more about that later as I'm working today to get the extra money I need to go to Vegas. A paid holiday plus time and a half for working...can't beat that! Also, it gives Marcus some alone time at home which the poor guy doesn't get enough of. Have a happy and safe Labor Day, everybody!

Hey, I remembered to Rabbit, Rabbit this month, and since it is my birth month, it's supposed to be extra lucky.

I'm feeling a bit lost and lonely and I don't know what I'm doing that creates this. Except for Marcus, I don't have any real live friends. I have acquaintances, but no true friends. I have some friends on the Internet, but they can't come hang out with me. I don't know why I can't connect or stay connected to people. Most people my age have kids and I can't relate to them. I'm always the odd man out, the last to be chosen, if I'm even remembered at all. Lately all those old high school memories of being left out have come flooding back and I'm hurting. I try to reach out to people and I'm ignored. I feel invisible once again.

It's when I feel like this that I realize why I'm 300 pounds, my finances are a joke and my house is a mess. I don't have the will to do anything about any of this because "why bother?" Nobody is around to notice anyway. I'm just the reliable girl that does her job, doesn't make waves and exists in the background.

I know that part of this is that I don't know where my passion lies. If I found something to participate in that I was passionate about, I would find people like me. I've spent so much of my life being what I thought I was supposed to be that I really don't know what I want.