Hey everybody...I'm through hiding from the world for a bit. I guess while I'm killing time here after my shift waiting for Marcus to get off so we can go home, I'll fill you all in on what's been up with me. As you can tell from my post almost a week ago, I was in a really dark, scary place last week. I hate it when I get like that. I don't know why Marcus puts up with it, but thank goodness that he does. After reading a post on Julie's site, I realized that my depression does get worse during that time of the month. Partner that with everything else that's been wrong lately and it's no wonder I slipped into the abyss for awhile.
I put the best face forward I could for Christmas, but I still really didn't feel it this year. We did have a nice Christmas Eve. Marcus made me go shopping with him. The nicest part was when we stopped into Home Depot so that we could get trash bags and I could pick up his small gift, it started snowing. That was kind of cool. We gathered at Mike and Nina's abode to exchange gifts and Nina prepared a really yummy spread. We also watched Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest. Even though I asked Marcus not to get me anything, he did. I'm trying to let go of the shame and guilt I feel and just be grateful. It's really hard, though. I did get some cool gifts from him and my friends. I got 3 of The Sims 2 expansions (Nightlife, Pets & Open for Business) — I've totally forgotten how to play The Sims! I wouldn't let myself play after the first couple of weeks of being unemployed because I was spending more time making my Sim life better than I was trying to find a job. I received $40 in iTunes gift cards. That goes great with the 30 GB video iPod Marcus got for me. I got a couple of geek books off my Amazon wishlist. Marcus' mom got us a really cool set of stainless steel nonstick cookware. I got 512 MB of additional RAM for my mac, a Home Depot gift card to get some more storage totes to organize some more of my Christmas stuff. I think that's it.
Marcus got me the ingredients to make a cheesecake for our Christmas dessert. I totally forgot my mixer bit the big one on Thanksgiving until I went to beat the cream cheese. D'oh! I drove over to Dad's apartment and snagged his. Unfortunately, we had to have the cheesecake the next day. It came out really good, though. I think it was the 2nd best cheesecake I've ever made. Yummy!
Marcus made an appointment with the vet for January 3rd. We're going to have to have Skippy put down. I'm torn about it. I was really hoping he would just pass quietly in his sleep, but it doesn't look like that's to be. All the poor dog does during his waking hours is twirl in circles. He can only rest when he's utterly exhausted from twirling. He can no longer walk in a straight line at all. He keeps falling on the linoleum floors (yet he won't stay on the carpet) and I keep finding him in a pool of his own urine and feces when I get home from work. We've tried to block his access to the linoleum, but he's intent on being on it. One of the reasons I didn't finish decorating the tree was because he kept getting tangled up in it. He can't get up and down the stairs at all anymore, so I have to carry him outside to do his business. Most of the time he won't do anything out there, though, especially since the blizzard.
It's going to be really weird not having a dog around. I've haven't been dogless since I was too young to remember. We decided we're not having another one until we're out of this shitty mobile home park, though. I need to concentrate on getting myself fixed financially and physically before I commit to getting another dog.
Well, guess that'll do it for now. Marcus is ready to go home.
I put the best face forward I could for Christmas, but I still really didn't feel it this year. We did have a nice Christmas Eve. Marcus made me go shopping with him. The nicest part was when we stopped into Home Depot so that we could get trash bags and I could pick up his small gift, it started snowing. That was kind of cool. We gathered at Mike and Nina's abode to exchange gifts and Nina prepared a really yummy spread. We also watched Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest. Even though I asked Marcus not to get me anything, he did. I'm trying to let go of the shame and guilt I feel and just be grateful. It's really hard, though. I did get some cool gifts from him and my friends. I got 3 of The Sims 2 expansions (Nightlife, Pets & Open for Business) — I've totally forgotten how to play The Sims! I wouldn't let myself play after the first couple of weeks of being unemployed because I was spending more time making my Sim life better than I was trying to find a job. I received $40 in iTunes gift cards. That goes great with the 30 GB video iPod Marcus got for me. I got a couple of geek books off my Amazon wishlist. Marcus' mom got us a really cool set of stainless steel nonstick cookware. I got 512 MB of additional RAM for my mac, a Home Depot gift card to get some more storage totes to organize some more of my Christmas stuff. I think that's it.
Marcus got me the ingredients to make a cheesecake for our Christmas dessert. I totally forgot my mixer bit the big one on Thanksgiving until I went to beat the cream cheese. D'oh! I drove over to Dad's apartment and snagged his. Unfortunately, we had to have the cheesecake the next day. It came out really good, though. I think it was the 2nd best cheesecake I've ever made. Yummy!
Marcus made an appointment with the vet for January 3rd. We're going to have to have Skippy put down. I'm torn about it. I was really hoping he would just pass quietly in his sleep, but it doesn't look like that's to be. All the poor dog does during his waking hours is twirl in circles. He can only rest when he's utterly exhausted from twirling. He can no longer walk in a straight line at all. He keeps falling on the linoleum floors (yet he won't stay on the carpet) and I keep finding him in a pool of his own urine and feces when I get home from work. We've tried to block his access to the linoleum, but he's intent on being on it. One of the reasons I didn't finish decorating the tree was because he kept getting tangled up in it. He can't get up and down the stairs at all anymore, so I have to carry him outside to do his business. Most of the time he won't do anything out there, though, especially since the blizzard.
It's going to be really weird not having a dog around. I've haven't been dogless since I was too young to remember. We decided we're not having another one until we're out of this shitty mobile home park, though. I need to concentrate on getting myself fixed financially and physically before I commit to getting another dog.
Well, guess that'll do it for now. Marcus is ready to go home.
Name: LaDonna
