Domestic Geek

Current mood: mellow
Correction: Marcus was selling a PowerBook box, not an iBook box as reported yesterday. How could I make such a grievous error? Can you believe it sold for $34?

When it rains, it pours. As if sales haven't been bad enough all on their own, the phone company was having problems with a fiber-optic line last night that affected both stores. One of the stores did about $2700 when a normal Saturday night is about $4000. Wheeee!

Now I've heard everything. I read in my iWon entertainment news today that MTV is launching a reality show on March 5th called "The Osbournes." It's a "Real World" type of show following the daily activities of Ozzy Osbourne and his family. I'm not sure what to think about that.

I just had a really long, hot shower. I feel so nice and clean and sleepy.......Zzzzzzz.

I meant to post this yesterday and totally forgot. It totally cracked me up. Sad thing is, I see a lot of me in these statements.

A Woman's Vocabulary

• Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up now. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
  
  
• Five Minutes: This is half an hour. However, it is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
  
  
• Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
  
  
• Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and will end with the word "fine."
  
  
• Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
  
  
• Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."
  
  
• Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
  
  
• Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead-in to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and a "Go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
  
  
• That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
  
  
• Please do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
  
  
• Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "You're welcome".
  
  
• Thanks A Lot: This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."

OK, I'm really going to bed this time.

Current mood: indescribable
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. It's weird.

I should be in bed, but I can't sleep. I have to make dough at both stores by myself tomorrow. Marcus wanted a day to himself (he usually does one store on Sunday to help me out so I can get one day off). The sales this week truly stunk, so it shouldn't be a problem. I need to get up early to get the one store done before the opening manager gets there. I truly can't stand the guy.

I tried to tell the owner my concerns about the tasteless cheese and stuff, but he didn't seem concerned about it or else what I was trying to tell him just didn't sink in. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. I give up. Let your sales keep slipping. I honestly don't care anymore. I made the mistake of looking up what I made in the same pay period last year as the one that just finished and discovered I made $229 more a year ago. Totally depressing reality check: I was making $400-$500 more per month then than I am now. Man, I really need to find a new job.

Marcus brought home an iBook box from work that was going to be thrown away. When I asked him why he brought it home, he told me he was going to try to sell it on eBay. I scoffed. Well, I was wrong. I guess you really can sell just about anything on eBay.

OK, time for bed.

Current mood: sleepy
I've been fighting some kind of illness. Last night I was achy and my tonsils were swollen. I pumped up the vitamin C intake and slept most of the afternoon today after I got home from work. Except for the canker sore I've got on the roof of my mouth, I feel a whole lot better. I'm going back to bed, though. I'm so dang tired.

As a big "Dukes of Hazzard" fan, I received some sad news yesterday. The balladeer, Waylon Jennings, died.

1. What was the first thing you ever cooked?
I really can't remember. Mom taught us girls how to cook at a really young age. It was probably something like spaghetti.

2. What's your signature dish?
I don't really have one. I do have a taco dip that my friends like to eat when they come over, though.

3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe.
I was making an oyster cracker snack for a party. I totally forgot they were in the oven. Pretty soon my guests were coughing and the whole house filled up with burnning oil smoke. Needless to say, they were inedible. I also messed up the first cheesecake I ever tried to make. I guess I didn't bake it long enough or something. It was totally runny in the middle. Totally icky.

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal?
A seafood feast: lobster, crab legs, etc. I've only ever made fried shrimp and fish sticks. I'm too afraid to try anything fancier because seafood costs so darn much.

5. What are you doing this weekend?
Working. What else is new?