Monday, November 26, 2001

Mon
26
Nov
2001

Floppy Disk Care

As seen in the Lockergnome Techspecialist 11/23 newsletter:

(Im)Proper Care of Floppy Diskettes
  1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
  2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing the diskettes, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
  3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.
  4. Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
  5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written on both diskettes.
  6. Diskettes should not be inserted or removed from the drive while the red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is "hooking" you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed access to the slot.
  7. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for 2 minutes. This will pack the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss data.
  8. Access time can be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.
  9. Diskettes may be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided that they are properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the diskettes dry before using. (see item 2 above)
  10. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data is stored much too small for the naked eye, and you may end up with data from some other document stuck in the middle of your document. Razor blades and scotch tape may be used, however, provided the user is equipped with an electron microscope.
  11. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.

Posted by LaDonna at 02:07 PM on 11/26/01 • Permalink • Comments [0]

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Mon
26
Nov
2001

Let It Snow

Current mood: ?cold cold
The car is under the snow somewhere!

It snowed last night! It's also really, really cold. Brrrrr! It's 21°F at Buckley Air Force Base, according to weather.com, 11°F with the wind chill. Since we're out here on the eastern plains, it's probably way colder than that. Now, though, I can finally get in the holiday spirit. It just doesn't feel like Christmas is near when it is 60°F and higher on a daily basis. The nice thing was, I didn't have to go to town today. I never luck out like this. I haven't had a day where I had nothing to do since Labor Day. I've been being a couch potato all day long. I did have to clean the car off and toodle over the the bank, but that was it. Poor Marcus had to drive in this morning, though. I felt really bad for him. He's still not feeling up to snuff, but he didn't want to miss work.

Poor Skipper didn't like being out there very long. He froze his little feet off. Even Ursa, who loves the snow, didn't even stay outside long enough to get a picture of her. Well, back to the couch.
Skippy in the snow!

Posted by LaDonna at 10:00 AM on 11/26/01 • Permalink • Comments [0]

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Sunday, November 25, 2001

Sun
25
Nov
2001

Scrooge’s Brother

HAPPY *BLEEP*ING HOLIDAYS!

As if I don't have enough reasons to hate my job, the following sign was posted on the bulletin board at one of the stores:

Happy F*cking Holidays!

Posted by LaDonna at 04:22 PM on 11/25/01 • Permalink • Comments [0]

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Thursday, November 22, 2001

Thu
22
Nov
2001

Poor Sick Marcus

Happy Thanksgiving!


Hope everybody had a very happy Thanksgiving. Ours got off to a rocky start, but turned out alright in the end.

We went to bed after 11 p.m. last night and I already knew it would be a short night since I had to get up by 6 to start pies and get the turkey ready to start roasting by 9. Marcus was feeling a bit dizzy before we went to sleep, but we thought maybe it was because he hadn't eaten since lunch. Ursa, our Malamute, woke me up about 1:15 a.m. She was all upset. Marcus was in the bathroom, groaning. I yelled to see if he was ok, but he wasn't. He didn't remember why he had gone into the bathroom, but he ended up passing out and fell to the floor. He thinks he hit his head. He wasn't sure how long he was laying there, but my yelling woke him up and he was freezing. I put as many clothes as I could find on him to warm him up. When I got up at 5:30, he was still delirious and was drifting in and out of sleep. I finally got him to take some NyQuil around 7. You know he's feeling really bad if he takes any kind of medication. He got up a few hours later and felt a little better. I think the poor thing had a touch of the flu. By the time I had dinner ready at 4, he felt good enough to eat a little something. Our friend Dave and my Dad joined us for dinner. My turkey came out really good, if I do say so myself.

Thanksgiving Feast 2001

Dad eating Thanksgiving FeastMarcus resting after food

Dave enjoying Thanksgiving FeastMarcus watching Survivor

Posted by LaDonna at 01:47 PM on 11/22/01 • Permalink • Comments [0]

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Wednesday, November 21, 2001

Wed
21
Nov
2001

Martha Ain’t Here

A humorous holiday tidbit offered by my friend, Rev:

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like.

In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.

Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either.

I am thankful.

Posted by LaDonna at 04:34 PM on 11/21/01 • Permalink • Comments [0]

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