Domestic Geek

I've been missing the strangest thing lately--playing bassoon. I want to play bassoon again, badly. Maybe it's been the classical music that my teacher played in my last class. Maybe it is that regretful feeling I've had about never really taking the bassoon thing seriously enough in college. Maybe I'm longing for my good old college days. Maybe it is that I want some sort of device that I can transfer my senior bassoon recital VHS to a DVD before I accidentally ruin the tape. Maybe it was intensified by the recent "Music Stand" catalog that came yesterday. I even spent the last half hour looking at bassoons for sale on eBay and realizing I can't spend that kind of money unless I win the lotto or find a really good paying job (a good bassoon costs several thousand dollars). *sigh*

Current mood: exhausted
Hey, I'm still alive--more or less. Dad commented to me yesterday that I hadn't written on my site for over two weeks, so I figured I'd better post a little something.

As I've mentioned before, the class I was taking at school kicked my ass. I don't think there was a day in the last five weeks that I got an entire night's sleep. I think I averaged about 5 hours a night. Couple that with the stress of not getting any hours at work (and not making any money) and I've been a complete basket case. Well, the class ended yesterday. I stayed up the entire night to finish my final project. After class, I had lunch with Dad and then I went to work for a couple of hours and came straight home. Of course by then I was soooo tired that I couldn't sleep, so I sat like a zombie and watched stuff on my PVR for about three hours. I finally went to sleep about 8:30 last night and woke up at noon today. I still felt like total shit when I got up. I know you can't make up for weeks of sleep deprivation in one night.

I had a really great birthday, though. I've made some really great friends at school and they threw me a little party. We had cheesecake and cupcakes. YUM! The lady at 7-11 gave me a free refill for my coke. My butthead manager actually made some dough for me to make up for the weekend he screwed me when we went to Colorado Springs (he didn't even know it was my birthday). Later, Dad took me to Hopps for a steak dinner. YUM, again! We had Mike's and my annual party on the 7th--we always hold it the weekend between our birthdays since his is on the 5th and mine is on the 11th. I posted some pictures of the event here. Also, Marcus got me a new scanner the day before at the Apple Store. All in all, it was one of the best birthdays I've had in quite a while. I didn't even let the whole terrorist bombing anniversary thing get to me like I did the year before.

Well, there's more to say, but it's 1 a.m. and I'm getting sleepy. G'night.

I've hit another brick wall. I'm doubting myself, my whole reason for being, what I truly want out of life. Why do I have one of these every so often? It's so frustrating.

I had the absolute freakiest dream last night. Marcus and I were walking down a street when we came upon a large park. It looked like an outdoor wedding was taking place. As we came upon the lattice arch, I saw that a large black hearse had crashed into it and had crushed the bride, groom and minister. As we continued on, it looked like a funeral procession had made a wrong turn, drove through the ceremony and killed everyone in attendance. Crashed cars were scattered everywhere and everyone there was dead. The weird thing was I was more worried about having left our bunnies outside in the yard (which I never do, anyway) than I was about the horrific scene I had come upon. I woke up about 1:30 am after this dream and was so weirded out, it took awhile to go back to sleep. I'd sure like to know what's going on in my subconscious that caused a dream like that.

Current mood: drained
I'm really tired, but I can't sleep. I've got a lot on my mind, plus Marcus isn't home, plus I've had reaaaaalllly bad cramps this week, plus I'm not feeling too well at the moment (I hope I'm not getting sick--like West Nile virus or something). I tried to get somebody to work for me tonight, but nobody was availble. Wah, wine, bitch, moan. I'm really tempted to do my schoolwork from home tomorrow. C'mon, get your ass to bed and get some rest.