Domestic Geek

Did you know that I bought DomesticGeek.com a few months ago? I still haven't done jack with it. I had every intention of using that for blogathon this year, but we all know that didn't materialize. I want to make it the place I blog without paid ads. I know that's weird, since paid blogging is what is keeping me afloat, but it would be nice to have someplace to just rant and write and not have to worry about what an advertiser will see or if I have enough content or whatever, y'know?

I also had every intention of making this weekend a blog work weekend, but we got really busy and really behind at work, so I'm working tomorrow and on Monday to get all that extra cash. Should help put a dent in what I need for Vegas. I've got 3 web sites and several subdomains of this one that really need some TLC, but I've been so not into it. I really need to get working on my graphic design site so that I can actively pursue getting clients. I'm really going to do that this time. I was so ready to just chuck it all and go back to pizza the other day. Thankfully a new day and a cooler head prevailed and I talked myself out of that, but I do need more income coming in and a creative outlet to boot. I'll let you all know when that is ready (hopefully Sunday?). In the mean time, though, if you need graphic design or blog coding work done, feel free to comment here. I'd love to help!

I'm feeling a bit lost and lonely and I don't know what I'm doing that creates this. Except for Marcus, I don't have any real live friends. I have acquaintances, but no true friends. I have some friends on the Internet, but they can't come hang out with me. I don't know why I can't connect or stay connected to people. Most people my age have kids and I can't relate to them. I'm always the odd man out, the last to be chosen, if I'm even remembered at all. Lately all those old high school memories of being left out have come flooding back and I'm hurting. I try to reach out to people and I'm ignored. I feel invisible once again.

It's when I feel like this that I realize why I'm 300 pounds, my finances are a joke and my house is a mess. I don't have the will to do anything about any of this because "why bother?" Nobody is around to notice anyway. I'm just the reliable girl that does her job, doesn't make waves and exists in the background.

I know that part of this is that I don't know where my passion lies. If I found something to participate in that I was passionate about, I would find people like me. I've spent so much of my life being what I thought I was supposed to be that I really don't know what I want.

I haven't been very current events savvy lately. I only just read that Owen Wilson may have attempted suicide last week. How tragically sad. I hope he gets help. I love him as an actor.

I've been such a slacker today. For whatever reason, I'm just feeling run down and out of sorts. I'm feeling a little blue, too. I really don't know why. I'm wondering if I'm starting to feel the effects of the days getting shorter. I'm also a little bored and frustrated at work. Oh, well...this will pass. I've just got such much I want to do and having to go to work every day doing mindless tasks is a little frustrating. I'm also probably a little burned out. I realized today that I haven't had a vacation in three years (being unemployed DOES NOT COUNT). That was when we went to visit Marcus' folks in Tennessee.

I've been really trying to meditate and clear my head lately. I've got this itchy feeling that something is about to change, I just don't know what. I sure hope that whatever it is, it is for the good.

Well, I found out today that I'm going to waste one less hour watching television. It turns out that CW's Veronica Mars was not renewed for this fall. That really ticks me off. I wish networks would let a series know before the end if it is going to be picked up again or not so that a series finale can be written if need be. I'm tired of being left hanging.