Domestic Geek

I honestly can't remember when I first had Tuaca cider, but I do remember making it a few years ago when I had my knitting group over to my house.

Last year, I found these organic mulling spice bags at Whole Foods and now I can make myself a cup whenever I want - like tonight - because work sucks much ass and I really need a drink.

I saw a recipe from them in my Facebook feed called Hot Apple Pie (you have to be 18 to click through the link), which is basically the same thing except you put a cinnamon stick and whipped cream on it. I'll have to try that one day when I have whipped cream around.

I wish I could spill what is going on at work on here. I'm so frustrated and apathetic. It's not like me at all and I don't like it. I have to keep reminding myself this is motivation to get my rear in gear and find something to do with my life that will bring me good feelings, not negative ones.

I'm also having severe colon pain again (topped with a good dose of womanly cramps - TMI - sorry). Good thing the colonoscopy is on Friday. I'm hoping they find the cause and that it is not super-serious. I have my doubts as this whole ordeal has been one wasted effort after another. I was reading the stuff they sent me earlier today. Not looking forward to this process at all.

OK, that I said, I'm going to pop a pain pill and head to bed.

Man, I had 2 major panic attacks today.

First, I stopped at Whole Foods on the way to work and my debit card was declined. I had checked the balance this morning to see what purchases I had made with the PayPal card had cleared and there was money in my account. I got to work and logged into the bank website to see the card number was different and not active. Um, Ok...there was no message in my inbox, just notifications about bank statements ready to be downloaded. I started to call the bank, but figured I had better check through the big pile of crap on my desk first. Sure enough, there was a new card mixed in with political crap. Whew.

The 2nd one happened after I called tech support to find a solution to an issue I was having with our mail sorting software. The guy told me to make sure I copied this one file so that if things went wrong, I could put it back. The main problem is that we run our software on a remote server, not individual installations like they want you to do. Me trying to work with this file while everybody else was working corrupted it and I couldn't get it back in. I had a major panic attack and had visions of being fired, not to mention crippling the mailing department. Good thing Marcus has a cooler head than I and managed to get it fixed. Whew.

The Polar Vortex sank into the United States today and Marcus is having a panic attack of his own. The guy that Marcus hired to install the heater for our water tank/pump hasn't showed up to install it and he's panicking about all of our stuff freezing up like last year. He claims he'll be there tomorrow - I hope it is not too late.

Even though it is only Saturday night, here I am having a panic attack at the thought of returning to work on Monday. I'm trying to be grateful this all happened as it has been a wake-up call of how little I'm valued despite having my 8th anniversary with that company just yesterday. I know better things are out there, I just have to stay calm before I do something stupid - I have a hard time biting my tongue.

On a better note, I've been purging my blog of paid posts. It feels good every time I select a few and hit delete. It's definitely going to take a while, though. It'll be nice to finally stop getting those stupid emails of companies trying to clean up their Google rankings.

Funny to think that these posts are what was supporting me back when I got my current job. This job was also only supposed to be fore a year while I got my crap together to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I let a steady paycheck make me complacent even though I've been miserable almost the whole dang time I've worked there.

So, I was put in my place at work today. Wish I could post details, but I can't. Job hunting has started in earnest. I'm going to probably have to take a major pay cut, but at least I'll be in South Dakota and can focus on starting my own side business that will hopefully eventually become my sole source of support.

The freaky thing was reading Maria Shaw's Starscopes Newsletter when I got home:

Mars will conjunct Pluto bringing some very intense power struggles and energy to the surface November 10 to the 14th. You could really feel like blowing off some steam. People, who have been getting on your nerves, will now push you too far. But it is a great time to get moving in a new direction and these energies may help you on a new path.
....
November 12th brings a harsh and challenging aspect from Pluto and Uranus. Something out of the blue may unfold that forces you to choose a different path than you are already on. Expect the unexpected this week. This will be an interesting day because Saturn will also meet Venus and this can either bond a relationship or create an ending of some kind. If a relationship's foundation is shaky, it could crumble under this influence.

So, yeah...this coming week is going to be rough, but necessary to get me off the dead-end path I'm on and hopefully onto a better one.