Domestic Geek

Apparently, I'm not.

I just came from visiting Bug's site and she posted a link where you can determine if you're one of the "cool" bloggers. I'm a B-lister. *sigh* I may as well give up blogging. I'm not one of the popular kids.

Go here and see how you rate in the blogging popularity contest.

I'm sitting here at my computer and I just heard a big bang. I don't know if it's a car backfiring or a gunshot. I don't live in the greatest neighborhood and I'm close to the highway, so it really could've been either. Man, I really want to move away from here.

Have you ever had one of those a-ha moments after a dream?

I had a pretty significant one this morning. In fact, I woke up crying and once I got into the shower, I let the waterworks flow. I'm not going to share the details as they are kind of private and not really significant to anyone but me, but the fact that I was repressing some major emotions and memories is. I've been trying to figure out why and when I went from just fat to obese. The fat is a result of not eating right my whole life, but the obesity was trying to hide and smother something. My subconscious finally got through as to what that was. I've been doing this to myself since late high school/early college (late 80s). I've been trying to hide this from myself for over 20 years. It's when I started becoming promiscuous. It's when I stopped taking my music as seriously as I should have. It's when I started losing confidence in myself, started making choices that I knew weren't in my best interest and really started hating myself.

Now that I realize the why, maybe I can finally get over it and move on.