Saturday, March 27, 2004

Sat
27
Mar
2004

The Miracle of Toilet Paper

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?", she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years." he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again....
Sat
27
Mar
2004

Van Halen Tour

So, Van Halen reunited and is starting a tour in June. I was a little excited by this news until I went to the Van Halen site and realized it's the Van Hagar incarnation. Boooo! I never got to see them with David Lee Roth as the frontman and was hoping that he'd be back. Oh, well. Guess that's some money I won't have to blow when they come to Denver August 1. I do think it's sad that Eddie Van Halen, once one of the most gorgeous men in rock, looks like he could be Ozzy Osbourne's brother. I guess cancer will do that to you.